The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch
by Ysabet
Summary: What happens when holding on to your humanity is no longer an option? Ushio finds out just what it's like to have fur and claws..... It's finally finished! All six chapters have been uploaded, and there's an update at the end of Chapter 5!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda.... If these characters WERE mine, by Yiminy, I'd sure be a lot richer than I am. They were actually created by Kazuhiro Fujito, who should make a lot of money off of them if there's any justice. Ummmmm, anyway.... please REVIEW! This is my first fic in SEVENTEEN YEARS (Really! except for my fansub songfics, also on this archive, which (hint, hint) could ALSO do with a review or two. How can you call yourselves Otakutachi without reviewing? Be Ashamed! You are but Mere Fanboys). I need the critiques! To me, this is a series that should've gone more places than it did; my story happens about two years after Ushio freed Tora. He's about seventeen now. So, without further ado...........  
  
Ushio & Tora: The Jaws That Bite, the Claws That Catch  
Chapter 1 of 5  
By Ysabet  
  
  
Cut to the chase: A wild run across rooftops, pursuing something with scales and more legs than anything should have. Wild mane streaming across his back, wild shadow streaking beneath him in a broken sketch of speed, he scrabbled for a hold on the roof-slates, the tiles shattering beneath his claws-----  
  
His... claws....... ?  
  
---- and Ushio awoke, heart slamming against his ribs in terror. He could feel a cold sheen of sweat covering his skin like a slick of ice; as his pulse slowly calmed, he realized that he had thrown the covers off during his nightmare. *Idiot*, he thought, *no wonder you're cold.* Shivering, he pulled the sheet up over his bare chest and lay there, staring at the ceiling above his bed.  
  
Three times now. Three times he had woken up shaking from the same dream, or at least one pretty much like it; in the last one, Ushio hadn't been running-he'd been flying. But the basics were the same: hunting in the shape of a monster....... Ushio sighed as his muscles began to relax at last-he'd been knotted up like a rope. Shit; he was going to start the day feeling like he hadn't slept at all. He stretched like a cat, curling his toes at the end of the bed in a habit he had never been able to break; growing up a little shorter than his friends had always made him wish for a little more height (and though he knew stretching wouldn't help, well.....). His knuckles brushed against the spear leaning against the side of his bed; without looking, he wrapped his fingers around the haft and felt the warm, faint rush of power running through his weapon. *That* feeling the temple boy was very familiar with, like the sensation you got when you held onto a pipe with water passing swiftly through it-the Kemono No Yari was a lot more than it seemed to be. He sighed.... so was he, and that was the problem. The dreams had him worried. So, being Ushio, he decided abruptly to make the matter better by not thinking about it anymore. Summer break, no school, and *no worries*, right? Right.  
  
Breakfast. He stretched one more time, then hauled his butt into the kitchen in search of something to eat.  
  
"Dad?" Ushio asked the empty room. Oh yeah-he'd said something late last night about going to visit some old temple buddies over by Atsugi. Typical, really. He mooched around the kitchen, poking into cabinets and the fridge, settling for a mixed batch of yesterday's leftover pizza and some sweet bean-paste buns that his dad had somehow missed. *Nothing like a balanced meal* thought Ushio-and, yeah, this was *definitely* 'nothing like a balanced meal'. Oh well. He put a pot of coffee on and plopped down on a cushion by the window to eat and stare out at the morning, wondering idly all the while where Tora was. Even after two years of-well, Ushio supposed you could call it "partnership"-he still wasn't sure just where the bakemono slept. Or even how *much* he slept; maybe 500 years of enforced darkness and silence had filled up his sleep quota, or something like that? There HAD been that time that Tora had rolled off the roof in the middle of the night, demolishing the stairs..... So he did sleep sometimes; Ushio had even offered the living room rug to him once or twice, but the monster seemed uneasy with walls around him. That trapped-under-a-temple thing again, maybe. Two years of mutual monster-fighting hadn't given Ushio many insights into Tora's history-the one sure way to rouse the bakemono's fury was to ask *any* question about his past, or about the Kemono No Yari's, or (for that matter) anything to do with the whole Famous-Samurai-Ancestor-And-Beast-Spear thingamajig at all. Ask just one question and the sparks would *really* fly-not just figuratively, either. When a bakemono can throw lighting, pissing it off could be considered a BAD idea......  
  
Speak of the devil-a large burnt-orange hand reached swiftly through the open window and speared a bean-paste bun with a single claw, snatching it back just in time to miss getting stabbed by a chopstick. The bakemono's bark of laughter startled the birds from off the rafters, sending shadows across the great, striped face just to one side of the window. "Stupid brat-if I'd been an oni, I could have gutted you like a fish" Tora growled, tossing the bun into his jaws and swallowing it in a single bite. The monster watched the flight of the birds for a moment, then caught the scent of the coffee that was just now finishing brewing in the kitchen. Tora LOVED coffee; it was one of the few modern inventions that he wholeheartedly approved of (in his own snarling way). With a single leap he slipped through the substance of the wall as if it were mist, passing his 'partner' and heading into the kitchen. Ushio watched resignedly as the bakemono upended the pot, drinking his breakfast black, bitter and boiling hot straight from the coffeemaker. Ugh. Ushio had never really been able to develop any kind of fondness for coffee-just as well, under the circumstances. The monster sighed in contentment and then turned his silver, pupil-less eyes back towards the bean-paste buns..... or where they had been a moment ago, anyway; Ushio was quick, too.  
  
"Hey, brat-why the Spear? Planning to kill monsters before breakfast?" the bakemono asked in his deep, raspy voice. Licking his fingers, Ushio stared at him-and only then realized that he had brought the Spear with him from his bedroom. "Uhhhhh....." Maybe he needed some of that coffee too. The Spear was leaning against the wall beside him; Ushio had no memory of bringing it in, but there it was, all seven feet of it. The bakemono stared back, then looked at the Spear, and then back at him, and said nothing. In fact, he said nothing so *loudly* that Ushio began to worry-if there was one thing he had learned in the last few years, it was that most bakemonotachi seemed to be universally mouthy. "What's the problem? I guess I just carried it in with me. So?" he snorted. He reached across to the Spear and pulled it down across his lap for a quick inspection; it looked pretty much as it always had, long and sharp and oddly lightweight, with no appreciable balance-point at all. You could grasp it just about anywhere-or at least you could if you were Ushio. No-one else seemed to have much chance of using it effectively; he was the Bearer of the Beast Spear, and that was that.  
  
Tora stared for a moment more, then settled down against the couch in a great sprawl; the springs creaked against his weight. He glanced sidelong once more at Ushio and growled softly to himself; there were words in the growl, but the temple boy couldn't quite make them out. The bakemono spoke a number of languages (including a variant of the local dialect that was so old and odd that probably *no-one* still living could understand it) and could curse fluently in each one; he was hard enough to understand at the best of times, and this did NOT help. Ushio ignored him as best he could, stretched one last time, and headed out to the yard to do a little practice. Carrying the Spear, of course. Behind him, he heard Tora yawn a huge, feline yawn.  
  
**********************  
He was resting on one of the benches in the shade of the practice yard, sticky with sweat. Sunlight fell in slanting rays to illuminate the patches of scrubby grass and bare dirt that made up the yard before him; motes of dust danced in the morning light and made hypnotic patterns through Ushio's half-closed eyes. So warm.... so easy to just close the eyes and drift for a few minutes. The practice session had been strenuous and he could take it easy for a bit; he really hadn't slept well lately, what with those damn dreams...damned dream.... and, dreaming, Ushio watched the great, black beast as it slipped through the long meadow grass down by the river with its silver claws glinting as it padded softly towards where he stood on the opposite bank. It stepped into the shallows with a faint splash and paused, glancing up at him through slanting golden eyes..... His eyes shot open; he was gripping the spear so hard it hurt. "What the hell was THAT?" he said out loud. Ushio rubbed sweat out of his eyes and a hot breath blew against his face smelling of musk and coffee. Tora crouched to one side of the bench, staring, staring, his silver eyes half-lidded like the beast in the temple boy's dream. He sat very still, a huge demon-statue close enough to touch-should you be so foolish as to try; tendrils of his mane drifted around him in the faint breeze. Ushio froze; he and Tora had worked out their "difficulties" (the ones dealing with Tora's constant urge to eat him alive, anyway) long enough ago that he was no longer afraid to be so close to the monster, but there was still that constraint between the two of them borne of the gap between human and bakemono. Sometimes, when the power of the Spear held him, the gap disappeared entirely-what Ushio became while bound to the Kemono No Yari was hardly human, after all. But sitting here, with that great, grim face so close to his own, and with the dream so fresh in his mind-----  
  
Tora reached out with a clawed forefinger and touched Ushio's forehead, just above the eyes; he drew the claw upwards to his hairline, barely touching the skin. The temple boy did not dare to move.... Those claws were nearly as long as one of his own fingers. The monster sat back on his haunches and dropped his hand to his side. "That'll be white..." Tora hissed softly. For a moment, the boy and the ancient monster were utterly still; then Tora blinked once, turned away and leaped upwards to land on his favorite perch: the old temple's rooftop.  
  
Released from his brief paralysis, Ushio shot to his feet. He had had *enough*. "WHAT?" he shouted. "WHAT'L be white?!? What are you TALKING about, Tora?... You're PISSING ME OFF!" But the bakemono (most uncharacteristically) only looked away, out over the treetops towards the mountains. "Hrrrrrrrrrrr. Watch it, brat. You're getting close." That was too much. Stiff-legged, Ushio stalked back inside the house to *his* favorite perch: the windowsill of his bedroom. He needed to think. Unnoticed, his knuckles clenched white around the haft of the Spear; unnoticed, Tora watched him go, eyes slitted against the sun.  
  
*************  
Sketches and half-finished watercolors fluttered in the slight breeze blowing through the open window as Ushio contemplated the morning's odd events. For Tora to show even the slightest concern for his 'partner' in any fashion could only be considered bizaare in the extreme. Oh, yeah, they fought together against common enemies, they had saved each other's asses multiple times; they even managed to live in the same place without one being eaten or the other impaled. But (thought Ushio, sitting in the angle of his bedroom window), you couldn't actually call the two of them the best of friends, could you? Comrades, maybe. He, after all, was a human being, most of the time anyway, and the Bearer of the Beast Spear the rest of the time; his business was hunting and killing monsters. Tora was-well, Tora was Tora: A self-professed (former) eater of humans, a monstrous clawed-and-fanged carnivore with barely a scrap of conscience and a truly horrible temper, matching his love of destruction and utter, ruthless delight in battle.  
  
Sometimes Ushio wondered just what Tora had done to become something so terrible.  
  
And that led to further thoughts, about the dreams, and why he was having them. The obvious answer (too much monster-chasing, co-habitation with a bakemono, and the normal hormones of a 17-year-old male) just didn't seem to fit. And what the hell was that all about with the Spear? He really couldn't seem to put it down for long; even now, here it was, clasped against the crook of his shoulder. He smoothed the ragged red silk of its streamers between his fingers; ancient as they were, they never seemed to show bloodstains or any other signs of wear. For that matter, the haft never took a scratch, the point never needed sharpening; the Kemo No Yari seemed to be suspended within the essential shape of a single moment in time. It could not be broken, blunted or destroyed; a pity the same couldn't be said for its Bearer. Hmmmm. Absently Ushio ran his hands up the length of either forearm, feeling the slight ridges of scar tissue... *Let's see: those were from that guy Hyou's knives, and that burn scar came from that fire-oni's whip... the knot on my left elbow was from when I slid off Tora's back and landed on my butt on the rocks- dammit; he got a good laugh at my expense there, didn't he?* The bakemono had been a lot more savage then, and the phrase "my meal" had cropped up fairly often in regards to Ushio's ultimate fate. *Fat chance of that-* he thought. Ushio ran his thumb across the side of his throat. That scar there, that was from the bite of some sort of... fish-demon, wasn't it? And of course, there was the thin line across his forehead; Tora had almost gotten him-that was from the first few minutes of their first encounter below the old temple. *Stupid bakemono-if he had killed me, who would've pulled out the Spear?* But if the monster had been just a little quicker.... Ushio could still remember the look of naked murder in his eyes.   
  
He ran his thumb across the faint scar again. You had to give Tora credit for one thing, though: After that first meeting he had never tried to lie to Ushio again-if he meant harm, you knew it. But that first time, the bakemono had been desperate for freedom and would've said anything, done anything to break away from the pain of the Spear and the darkness of his prison. And, thought Ushio, he had, really - hadn't he? The beast had hardly been inclined to help a human in any way, at least at first; but now..... A bakemono was a bakemono--- but, Ushio thought to himself, maybe Tora wasn't really so bad. His fingers brushed against another scar, running beneath the skin from just above his eyes back onto his scalp. That one, now-- Ushio couldn't really remember the moment he got the wound, but he knew that Death had surely placed a hand on his shoulder that day. He had been battling a sickle-weasle, who had split his skull wide open. Why had he lived at all? That had been Tora's doing, much to his shock; the beast had bargained with another of the kamaitachi for his life. And that was the strangest thing of all..... He supposed that it was then that things had started to change between the ancient monster and the temple boy, and the 'partnership' between them had truly begun. Things had slowly settled down under a cautious truce, which had gradually become something more permanent and stable. Maybe even.... Comfortable? Good? There had been moments........... Sometimes it was enough to have someone around with the same common ground and frame of reference as yourself. After all, he couldn't exactly talk about this side of his life with his sempai at school, could he? Tora.... was his only sempai.  
  
His fingers froze as they brushed the ridge of scar again; just what had Tora said? *"That'll be white"*..... The bakemono's claw had traced the mark very precisely. What the hell did he mean? Shit. White? It wasn't really visible - the healing ointment that had saved Ushio's life had erased all outward traces of the wound. Only the calcerous line remained to remind him of a moment when his life had lain in Tora's hands. White?  
  
Too much thinking. Time to go for a walk. He thumped down the stairs and was out the door and across the yard in a few moments. From the roof Tora watched him go, tail twitching. The bakemono flexed his claws, stood and stretched his length across the warm tiles. Then (like the Cheshire Cat but without the grin) he faded from sight.  
*************  
  
The river was running high today. From the embankment where Ushio walked he could see the bridge nearby, lines of cars rushing back and forth like small, beeping toys. A few early sunbathers were out, and he spent a few pleasant minutes admiring the view. This led to even more pleasant reveries about how Asako had changed over the past year or so from a thin slip of a girl to willowy grace (and a few more curves than Ushio had ever believed possible). Changes... Mayuko had grown a little too; slighter even than Asako, she would never be, well, voluptuous. But her face was now that of a young woman, not a child, and those huge young-old eyes had been drawing their own share of admirers. Not Ushio, though; Mayuko was too close, too much like a sister for that sort of thing. Asako, now...... *She sure looks better in a bathing suit than she used to* he thought, watching the water ripple past. *Wonder how she'd look without one......* She'd sure pop him one if he said *that* in front of her face! She had been a little nicer to him lately, though, much to her father's glee -- one of these days the old man was going to make one smart-assed crack too many and Asako was going to put him into the hospital. Ushio considered the prospect and grinned to himself; he had to admit it, the guy was right about his daughter's looks. Asako was really turning out to be something. Yeah. Not too bad at all-and she knew about Tora, too. Mayuko had been the first of the two girls to meet him back during that fight with the Gamin, but it had not been too long afterwards when Asako had encountered the bakemono too. All in all (thought Ushio, tossing a pebble into the water) she had taken it pretty well. The monster had seemed to be amused by her fierceness. On the other hand, it had been several days before she had stopped being angry at the temple boy for not telling her about him immediately. "Idiot" he said out loud, earning a startled look from a lone passerby.  
  
He turned a little to one side of the path and slid down the embankment towards the river. The bushes below parted to show a thin, narrow path; this went back a little ways to his own secret place, a small clearing at the river's edge just made for thinking about things, or about nothing. Just - his place, that was all. A boulder on the shore made a fine seat, and he propped the Spear against it as he sat down. .......DAMmit!! He had brought the Spear along AGAIN- and he hadn't even noticed! Maybe that was why that guy he had just passed had looked at him so strangely.  
  
Fine. Enough. Angrily, Ushio slid off the boulder and tossed the Kemon No Yari across the clearing; it landed point-down on the riverbank a few yards away. "You-what's your problem?" he addressed the weapon. "Isn't it enough that you change my life, make me into a killer, and even turn me into sort of an animal? Now you've got to be with me ALL the time? Hai, Spear, that's too much!" He looked away, a little embarrassed to be talking to a stick with a pointy end. "If I have to carry you like this, at least let me know why...." And Ushio stepped forward, reaching out to place his hands on the haft. The Spear never spoke in words, exactly - but its bearer understood well enough whatever it wanted to say. He usually addressed it with a certain amount of respect and circumspection. It was very old, had saved his and Tora's skin many times, and had an air of "presence" about it that could not be ignored. But... He was annoyed. This was ridiculous!  
  
His fingers slid around the haft, and he felt the warm, spreading rush of the Spear's aura beginning to permeate his mind and body. A great stillness seemed to flow outwards directly from the ancient wood into his thoughts, bearing with it a sense of age and - affection? He could never quite make up his mind about that.... Ushio sighed as his anger ebbed away. From the spirit that now brushed lightly across his soul he caught a faint feeling of curiosity and concern; something was wrong... but something was right, too, correct and in its proper place. The Bearer and the Spear should be together, should be one; that was the way of things under heaven. Weapon and warrior were the same, warring together against claw and fang, dancers partnering each other in a dance of bladeflash and spilled blood..... But, thought Ushio, why *all* of the time? And what about his future? Would he do this, just this, for the rest of his life? Probably, however long that might be. His ancestor's war had ended when he took down Tora/Nagitobimaru, and he had then settled down and sired offspring to carry on the line. Ushio hadn't really thought much beyond the moment (he was, after all, only seventeen), but he supposed that he might someday want to do something other than kill bakemonotachi. But the Spear responded: this was his life. The hunt, the battle, the victory...... even Tora was part of it, a necessary counterweight in the balance of Spear and Spearbearer. The rush of power through the ancient weapon intensified; Ushio shivered. Sometimes the spirit within the Kemono No Yari was too strong, way too strong - it didn't have to deal with anything but being a spear, after all; he had too many hands on his time. He had to be a student, his father's son, a growing young man, a friend to his friends, a maybe-friend to a man-eating monster as well as some sort of Mystical Samurai Animal too. Being a 2,000-year-old living weapon was simple in comparison. His hands slid up, gripping tightly; he leaned into the haft, resting his forehead against the wood... Let it go, whispered the soul within the Spear.... Don't fear the dreams, they aren't real, don't fight the changes that come, the real ones, the necessary ones. It's time; just let it happen..... Ushio closed his eyes. He could feel the comfort flowing from the Spear, encircling his spirit, wrapping him in peace; sometimes it was like this. Inevitability, a sense of fate, of patterns developing - it infused his soul and soothed the restlessness. He sighed.  
  
----- and his eyes shot open in shock as something grabbed his ankle and yanked HARD! His hands lost their grip on the Spear as he slid on the slippery grass and landed, wham! on the damp riverbank. The cold grip pulled him halfway into the river before he could begin to catch hold of anything better than a bush; Ushio flailed about for a handhold, as mud, weeds and water obscured his view of his assailant. He scraped painfully across the rocks at the river's edge, managing to heave a fist-sized chunk towards the direction of his feet; an angry hiss told him that his aim had been at least partially true, and he got his first glimpse of his attacker.  
  
Slimy green, fish-belly white - a skeletal face dominated by pale, bulging eyes and lipless teeth, overhung with pallid vines of hair.... But it was STRONG! The creature latched onto both of his ankles this time with long-fingered hands, digging its claws into his flesh. He shouted in pain and anger and lashed out at the slimy thing, battering it with his fists as hard as he could- but to no avail. If anything, it dug in harder; water and mud splashed around them both as they rolled at the river's edge. As blood from his lacerations began to spatter the weeds, Ushio changed tactics and clawed at the creature's face, stabbing with stiffened fingers into its left eye. It screamed, high and thin--- its grip loosened--- and then the strong, skeletal fingers slipped a little from one ankle! Ushio began to bludgeon its chest and face with his feet, like a cat kicking a rat to death. Still sliding down the bank, he scrabbled behind him for a grip; and then he *reached*, with both mind and his one free hand for the Spear, the Spear, the SPEAR----  
  
It came to him, smacking into his outstretched hand eagerly as any warrior out for blood, and then the Change took him:  
  
*****Almost-pain blotting out reality for a timeless moment of lightning! along the spine/hard, strong, animal rush of adrenaline burning without consuming/fire through slitted beast-eyes glowing/ghost-shadows of other Spearbearers' memories colliding with Ushio-that-was to remake him into Ushio-Spearbearer-that-is/form melding with the Shape, yes the Shape from the past, the *real* Shape/long hair flowing, sharp-toothed weapon-body unsheathed..... Almost it hurt too much to bear, almost he could bear it too much for it to hurt-----*****  
  
----- done; with a roar he swept the Spear around in a foreshortened arc to stab at the creature's face (knowing, as always, that the endless moments of the Change had really only lasted a second or so. Just as well, too). The slimy thing yowled and ducked; Ushio shouted again and brought the butt of the Spear around against its head. It rocked with his blow, releasing its grip at last; with one hand clapped against the remains of its eye, it screamed in fury and fear into his face, then slid backwards away into the river. Ushio bared his sharp teeth and loudly snarled his own wordless comment at the sight of The Prey getting away; he lunged forward into the water and grabbed at the creature's slippery torso, and registered an interesting fact: This Was A Female. His eyes widened at the sight of the ugly, raddled dugs on his opponents's chest--- and it/she took that moment of surprise to backhand him across his face, THWACK!!. Stunned, he fell back with a splash, wiping his soaked mass of hair from his eyes and looking up only to see the *swiftly* approaching sight of a large rock coming into view; Ushio ducked, and-------- lights out........  
  
*************  
  
End of Chapter 1 of 5  
  
  
  
3  
  
  



	2. The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch...

Ushio & Tora: The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch  
Chapter 2 of 5  
  
Ushio awoke (amazed that he was waking at all) on the edge of the shore, legs still half in the water. His head was resting on something painful; it took Ushio a moment or two to realize that the 'something painful' was the large lump on the back of his skull. Staring dizzily at the sky, he wondered if his brains were leaking out.... Somehow that didn't seem to be really important, not nearly as important as not moving so that the rest of his aches and pains wouldn't quite catch up. Oh damn... too late. He groaned; it came out as a growl. Somewhat surprised, he raised a muddy hand to explore his teeth; still sharp-? Was he still holding the Spear? Maybe his brains *had* leaked out; testing, testing, this is Ushio trying to think..... Well, that seemed to work. He sat up groggily in the weeds and sedge, pushing a tangle of black hair and mud from his eyes, and cradled his throbbing head in his hands. The Spear lay next to him: not touching him, not at all..... Despite the recent battle, his enemy's escape, and his own rather surprising survival, the fact that he was still sharp-toothed, long-haired and slit-eyed seemed to be the most important thing in Ushio's world right now. Better think about it later, though-that bitch of a river-monster might still be around. Wincing with the pain of his lacerated legs, he staggered to his feet and looked wildly about: nothing, just the river and the shoreline and the large, silver-eyed bakemono crouched among the bushes to his left......  
  
"Tora? Where'd it go? Where'd she go?" Ushio wheeled towards his partner and almost lost his balance, leaning against a boulder and panting. "Did you stop her?" Shakily he reached down to pick the Kemono No Yari up from the mud.  
  
The bakemono growled long, low and frustrated, and snapped "IDIOT. I could barely keep her from drowning *you*. Should I have gone chasing her instead?" He licked at a gash along the side of one wet forearm, then shook water from his mane and sprayed it in a wide arc over the clearing; Tora hated getting wet. Still growling, he stared off across the water. "Stupid Brat. Since when do you go hunting on your own? Getting jealous of my kills?" He hated to be left out of a fight even more. "I could've had that foreigner's throat in my teeth without even getting wet, instead of bleeding all over the place!" He padded down to the shoreline to sniff at the mud, placing his claws fastidiously to avoid the damp. Ushio slumped down onto the boulder and examined his injuries; though deep, the marks weren't bleeding excessively and would heal with their usual rapidity. The worst wound was to his pride-he had fought much more terrible creatures than this one; dammit, to get his ass kicked by a slimy river-hag! "Goddam bitch" he muttered in frustration and looked up to meet Tora's eyes. The bakemono was staring at him with his teeth slightly bared and a wary look on his striped face. "...... What's the problem?" Ushio snarled, shifting his weight from a bruise on his backside. In answer the monster reached out and yanked a soggy lock of his long black hair painfully. Swearing, the Spearbearer jerked away; he pushed his hair once more out of his face and bared his teeth unthinkingly at the bakemono beside him, who only growled and bared *much* larger teeth in response. Startled, he sat back; what was he doing? He raised a hand again and ran it across his face.  
  
"Change" hissed Tora. "We're not fighting now; don't show your fangs to ME, little hunter-mine are sharper. Now *change!*" Ushio blinked at the monster-what the fuck was his problem?!? For that matter, why HADN'T he changed back? Tora was right; the battle had ended, the need for the Spear was over. Frowning, he closed his eyes. The change back was more of a release, slipping from the grip of the Spear like relaxing a muscle. It had always happened on its own; why was it taking an effort this time? Ahhhh, there: he felt the moment of absolute stillness coming on, when the Shape and the rush of adrenaline that came with it dropped away like a shadow, like a garment falling to the ground. It hurt, a little; it always did..... and this time it hurt more than usual; an edged, hollow pain that made Ushio clutch at his chest and draw in a hiss of breath. What the hell was this shit? But after a moment the pain lessened, and he shakily ran a muddy hand across his shortened hair. Whew. Breathing hard, he looked up at Tora. "Something's wrong-the Spear didn't want to let me go this time...." He heard Tora mutter something to himself in a rumbling growl. "C'mon, Tora-you know something about this, I can tell. What the HELL is happening to me?!?" The bakemono shook himself like a great cat; Ushio couldn't tell if it was in denial or simply discomfort. Lightning crackled briefly from his white forelock, a sure sign of his agitation. When Tora spoke there was a rough bitterness in his words that Ushio had never heard before. "Shit... You *belong* to the Kemono No Yari, and you're SURPRISED, Brat? Doesn't that bastard Spear tell you things? This is what HAPPENS to Spearbearers!" and the monster simply leaped upwards and away, streaking off across the sky like an orange bolt of lightning.   
  
Stunned, Ushio watched him go, and wondered just what Tora was running away from.  
  
Soggy and aching, he looked around the clearing one last time and then began the walk home with the Spear across one shoulder. With any luck, it was still early enough that he wouldn't be picked up by the police as a gang member or transient. As a weary Ushio trudged up the path to the escarpment, a single unseen eye watched him from the river weeds hatefully and vowed bloody revenge.  
*************  
  
The temple boy sat on a stone ledge beside the temple gate and brooded, the Kemono No Yari leaning against the wall beside him. Wounds bandaged, Ushio was ready to go hunting the slimy thing that had so damaged his pride (as well as his hide) earlier, but first..... he needed Tora. The bakemono had not put in an appearance since the riverside fight, and the temple boy could feel a prickling itch of guilt-the monster had saved his life, surely, and he hadn't said a word of thanks. Besides....... he liked the look of puzzlement that wrinkled Tora's face every time his partner said anything nice to him....... The bakemono loved praise, but still hadn't quite figured out how to handle it (kindness was not exactly something that he had much experience of, after all).   
  
As a warm afternoon breeze flickered through the almond trees beside the gate, Ushio considered: How could he ask Tora about his problem with the Spear? And there were the dreams, too. He wasn't quite ready to deal with those yet. The river-hag, the Spear, and the dreams--- that was enough for anybody's plate. Way too much for him, anyway..... Wasn't this supposed to be summer vacation? Hell, yeah; he should've been out doing something fun, or goofing off, or damn near *anything* besides getting the shit beaten out of him by some water-oni. He watched the shadows shifting on the ground before him; swallows swooped past like little feathered comets, chasing the gentle afternoon breeze across the rooftops. Another shadow caught his attention: something large, just above him in the nearest almond tree. Good-- he knew *that* silhouette, even if the shape that the shadow belonged to was invisible. "Tora" he said reluctantly; "Ummmm-- Thanks for the help with that water-thing earlier. How'd you know I needed it?"  
  
He heard a raspy chuckle above him. "Followed you" said the bakemono in a self-satisfied voice, pleased at having pried thanks from his partner. "You always go down by the river when you want to think, and I've smelled bakemonotachi there. Besides..... I watch you sometimes." Ushio craned his head back to look up into the leaves above him; the monster was draped across a branch like a huge, carnivorous Cheshire Cat. Tora smirked down at the look on his face as the temple boy stared up; "You.... *watch* me? Why?" In reply his partner only shrugged. "Why not? You've got the Spear. I like knowing where it is....." and he looked slantwise down at the Kemono No Yari with his silver eyes. Ushio frowned; it irritated him to know that Tora had been near him without his knowing. Tora was watching him now, the great striped face patterned with leaf-shadow and flickers of sunlight. He looked almost peaceful, sprawled across the branch for all the world like an oversized housecat; his tail twitched gently, fur riffling across his back in the slight wind. Now seemed like a good time to ask the bakemono about the Spear......  
  
"Uh, Tora. What you said earlier about what happens to Spearbearers...... What'd you mean?" He waited for the expected explosion.  
  
It did not come. "That's what happens" said the bakemono matter-of-factly. "The Spear takes you for good. It happens a little at a time at first, then forever. That bastard Samurai was taken so." He growled a bit and flexed his claws at the memory of his former foe and Ushio's ancestor. "You didn't know? Stupid..... You belong to the Spear now anyway; the more you use it, the sooner it happens. I've been watching to see how long it would take-you lasted longer than the Samurai did." The monster chuckled nastily.  
  
Ushio sat very still.  
  
Taken-for good? Did he mean 'changed for good'? He did, didn't he? Sharp-toothed, slit-eyed and long-haired..... He didn't mind it while he fought; the tougher muscles and hide that went with that shape had saved his life many times; but--- that way, ALWAYS?!? No way! Shit, no way.....  
  
Tora continued on. "I saw that you were getting close-- the Spear goes with you now, everywhere, even without touching. That's how it begins. I thought---" and he paused for a moment; "--- that you knew, and that.... when it happened.... we would fight again." A little of the bakemono's earlier bitterness crept back into his deep voice. "We are--- not-enemies now." The ancient monster could never quite seem to say 'friends'. He hissed softly. "I have fought the Spearbearer before and gotten the shit kicked out of me; I thought that would happen again." Now he looked down at Ushio. The temple boy saw the faint crackle of lightning around Tora's brow as he grew more agitated; was the bakemono actually that upset? "I-- do not want to spend five hundred years in the dark again." Now the lightning crackled more brightly and the monster leaped down from the branch to land heavily in front of the frozen boy. Tora snarled a little, shaking his mane from his face. "I would kill you first, Brat. If I could." He began to pace back and forth, his claws scoring the earth, lightning tracing blue patterns around him in the shivering air. The afternoon breeze now carried the scents of musk and ozone. "What will you do, Ushio-Brat, when the Spear takes you forever?"  
  
Ushio shot to his feet, breathing hard and holding the Kemono No Yari crosswise before him. The peace of the afternoon was broken. He felt the familiar beginning rush of the Change-- and, for the first time: resisted it. The Spear fell with a clatter to the ground before him and he faced the monster down empty-handed. "Tora! I don't want to fight you, you idiot! Wait, wait..... You mean I'll stay - like I am when I fight - all the time? Hell, I don't want that!" The bakemono laughed harshly. "Who the fuck cares what you want?!? The SPEAR has you! Did you think you could play with lightning without being burned?" The air crackled and seethed around him; birds took flight in fright. Ushio realized he was shaking, and he slumped back against the wall behind him, eyes fixed on the weapon at his feet. Slowly he bent down to pick it up-- it felt the same, felt no different........ So why did it seem so heavy all of a sudden? He ran his fingers across the shaft and along the edged spearhead, and a sudden pain made him blink as a trickle of blood ran across his fingers from the resultant cut. Blood on his hands-there was always blood on his hands, bakemono blood..... He was a killer of monsters. Would being one make life any different?  
  
Blindly he pushed past Tora and ran out the temple gate, heading anywhere, anywhere at all away from what he had heard. Behind him, a warm wind blew through the empty yard where the monster had paced. The birds settled back into the trees.  
*************  
At first, as the things that Tora had told him began to sink in, Ushio paid little attention to where he was walking..... Or, for that matter, the fact that he had taken the Kemono No Yari with him, after all. But that seemed so natural by now......   
  
The slanting afternoon sunlight brought him little peace, but the sheer normalcy of the streets beyond the temple gate began to allow his heart and nerves to settle down a little; he began to think again. Panic wasn't going to help..... Ushio found that his steps had led towards a small park that he had been visiting since childhood, a good place to relax, and if there was anything he needed now....... But there was to be no respite; as if in answer to his thoughts, he felt a familiar weight settling not-quite-gently onto his shoulders as Tora's enormous claws gripped. Oddly enough, the temple boy felt a certain anxiety easing.... Without quite saying anything about it, the two mismatched partners had always considered moments like this to be automatic times of truce. Tora could have easily taken Ushio's head off in a single bite, and Ushio could have nearly as easily impaled the bakemono with the Spear-but somehow it just never became an issue.... He acknowledged his passenger's presence with a sigh and a silent adjustment of balance (fortunately, Tora only rested a fraction of his weight on his shoulders) and continued on into the park.  
  
It seemed a little quieter than usual. Only a few children ran and screamed or splashed each other at the fountains, and the noise of the vendors selling okinomiyaki and other items was more subdued than seemed normal. Even Tora said nothing, resting quietly on his shoulders like a great furred thundercloud; he shifted faintly as they passed the takoyaki stall, and Ushio stopped to buy a double portion. He had learned long ago that Tora considered half his food to belong to the bakemono--- a substitute Ushio-snack, perhaps. His stomach growled at the scent of the fried octopus, and he sat for a few moments on a handy bench to eat his late lunch. An observant passer-by might've possibly noticed that the fried food seemed to vanish rather more quickly than one would have thought.....   
  
Ushio could hear Tora crunching the last of the octopus-balls as he licked his own fingers. The simple, prosaic act of eating lunch had calmed him considerably, and he actually felt strangely grateful for the monster's company (not that he would tell this to Tora, of course). He glanced at his partner; the bakemono was watching the children running past with much the same expression that a hungry man might view a bowl of rice; it made Ushio a little nervous.... He cleared his throat, and said softly "Tora. There's something else I wanted to ask you about. Uhhhh.... I've been.... having some odd dreams lately---- " and he heard Tora's rather rude snigger ("....that'll make you go blind, you know...."); "--- not like that, you shithead!" He flushed; a bakemono was *not* the kind of companion to share adolescent hormonal male dreams with! "I mean..... I keep dreaming about..... Ahhhh, never mind. Let's just hunt." He just couldn't do it. The dreams were too hard to talk about. Restlessly he got to his feet and, Spear on his shoulder, trudged towards the nearby riverbank. A few parkgoers gave the weapon rather dubious looks, but at the sight of Ushio's set, grim young face, found other things to do than bother him. As he walked, the grass beside him shifted under the weight of something large and unseen that smelled vaguely of takoyaki.  
  
Ushio kicked at a scrap of paper on the pavement before him; some kind of "lost child" notice..... There seemed to be a lot more of them around than usual, didn't there? Maybe that was why the park seemed so much quieter today. He glanced about: there on that wall, there was another one; and there, on that lamp-post, two of them.... And back behind him, on a vendor's stall, *four* notices.... He stopped for a moment. Huh. The missing children were all recent losses, and all from the river region. Frowning, he glanced at Tora. The bakemono looked restless and ill-at-ease, watching the water with the tips of his teeth just showing; he licked a last crumb of takoyaki away from his whiskers and moved quietly along the escarpment and away from the park. Ushio gripped the Spear more tightly and followed, and the two began doing what had come naturally: hunting.  
*************  
  
Tora sniffed at the sedge along the river and then lifted his head to catch the scents on the warm afternoon breeze; he wrinkled his striped face and growled softly. "Jin-ni Griin-tiith" he said aloud, forming the foreign words with some difficulty. "What?" said his preoccupied partner. "Jenny What?" Ushio nervously parted the weeds at the edge of the shore with the Spear's point. "That's that slimy thing we're hunting, stupid.... She's a yokai from the Green Isle and a child-eater; I wonder why? Maybe she just likes tender meat.... She likes to drown them first, and then she crunches them right up." The monster sighed wistfully, possibly at the memory of past tasty meals. A bit sickened, Ushio smacked him lightly upside the head with the Spear. "Pay attention, bakemono. She's been eating those missing children, then...." The temple boy had spent his early life playing along the riverbank; it was all too easy to imagine being yanked in and........ Urrrgh.   
  
He shivered. "So why'd she grab me, then? I'm not a kid" he said, with all of a seventeen-year-old's hauteur. The monster snickered. "Who cares? Maybe you looked good. Maybe you were just convenient, sitting on that rock all alone..... Easy to snatch up and crunch." The bakemono smiled to himself, a terrible smile with sharp teeth in it. Hunting always brought out old memories of his man-eating days; Ushio wondered just *how* much he missed them.  
  
"Tora..." he said experimentally; "Ummm, about those dreams I've been having---" and he hesitated again. "In them, I keep seeing this bakemono with black fur.... And sometimes, I---"; he stopped again.  
  
".... And sometimes *you* are the bakemono, hmmmmmm?" said the monster softly.  
  
Whoa. Full stop. He wavered to a halt knee-deep in riverweeds. "What the--- ? How the hell did you know *that*? Does this---- have anything to do with what you told me about the Spear?" He had been shying off from thinking too hard about the subject, and it didn't look like he could actually DO anything about it, anyway.....  
  
The bakemono sighed, deep and rumbling; he glanced back over one shoulder, and Ushio could have sworn that he looked almost embarrassed. THAT was new. When Tora spoke, it was in an unusually quiet tone.  
  
"I dream, sometimes..... Your dreams are too loud, Brat, and I dream them too. Or maybe you dream my dreams. I... don't know. Sometimes a bakemono's dreams are of things to come--- we do that, so to live..... I dreamed of a bakemono like myself, but with your scars." He bent his head to sniff at a clump of brush and driftwood; his eyes would not meet Ushio's.  
  
"'..... That'll be white....'" said the temple boy, softly, remembering. He lifted his free hand to trace the ridge of scar on his forehead and shivered. "But I'm NOT a bakemono, Tora. Even--- if what you told me about the Spear--- happens, that won't make me----"  
  
The monster cut him off with a curt gesture. "I know, I know, I know! Making a human into a bakemono is a difficult thing. You need death, lightning and blood.... Power, too. They were just dreams. Who can say what to make of dreams?!? I HATE them!" Ushio frowned, curious; "So how come you hate them? Most humans like to dream." He pushed through the weeds and stooped to check out a faint track in the river-mud; nothing, just a dog-print.  
  
Tora growled: "I hate them because..... most of my dreams are bad." And the ancient bakemono moved on ahead, slipping through the brush like the ghost of a tiger.  
*************  
It was getting dark now. Several hours of fruitless hunting had resulted in nothing more than one hungry, frustrated teenager and an equally hungry, frustrated monster who had been taking his annoyance out on the local vegetation. Several trees once green and alive were now no more than smoking, lightning-scoured stumps. Ushio sat on his favorite stone, once more back in the clearing where he had fought the water-yokai. Ostensibly he was examining a soggy hole in his tennishoe, but his senses were focused on his surroundings, combing the clearing for sounds. Tora had slipped off to a perch in a convenient tree; it had taken quite a bit of hard arguing by the bakemono to persuade Ushio to act as bait, but there he was. Tora had said approvingly that he looked "nice and young and tasty", which did not help at *all*......   
  
So far there had been nothing save the occasional fish-splash, the chirra-chirra of insects in the bushes, and the brief, squeaking scream of an unfortunate rabbit that had ventured too close to Tora's tree. Bored, Ushio sighed and drew a design in the dirt before him with the toe of his shoe. He added a few dots and squiggles with the butt of the Spear, and finally gave in: he knew what he was doing. He was trying (with little success) to Avoid Thinking About Things. Things like being permanently bonded with the Kemono No Yari; or maybe things like dreams, especially ones shared with monsters. He could, with some difficulty, handle imagining life as a long-haired, sharp-fanged, slit-pupiled almost-bakemono..... But that was about it. The dreams didn't even bear thinking of. But as for the other--- the obvious answer was to lay down the Spear forever.  
  
And he couldn't do it. He knew he couldn't.  
  
It wasn't that Tora might finally decide to make an Ushio-entrée out of his 'nice and young and tasty' body-it wasn't the excitement (though, he had to admit, there was something.... essential.... in that, something that his spirit thrived on). It was just--- the Spear WAS part of him now. Life without the hunt, the victory..... the kill.... Was unthinkable. Unlivable. He was Aotsuki Ushio the Bearer of the Beast Spear, and that was that.   
  
That he killed living creatures and it bothered him so little was disturbing; shouldn't he feel more regret? Or even grief, that things died at his hand? Sometimes, lying in bed at night and aching from his wounds, he wondered what kind of darkness he had marked his soul with by having become a killer so young. He might be only seventeen, but he wasn't stupid. *We're always taught that killing is wrong* thought Ushio sadly, *and then we have to go and do it anyway.*   
  
He looked down at the ground again and drew another line with the butt of the Spear. He and Tora had become so very good at what they did; when he had asked Tora why the monster was willing to hunt beside the Spearbearer, the bakemono had looked at him like he was brain-damaged and had said simply "Territory." Youkai and oni were territorial, Ushio knew that. More exotic creatures like Tora seemed to be less so, perhaps because they seldom felt like settling down in one place, unless they took a mate...... But Tora had a place, a 'territory' now. Who could say? Perhaps he felt that he had *earned* it with five hundred years of pain in the dark. But, oh, God forbid that he ever should decide to take a MATE-----  
  
The very thought of little 'Toras' running around, eating the neighbors and (eventually) himself gave Ushio severe heartburn. Hurriedly he turned his thoughts to something else.... the quiet water lapping at the shore, the sleepy chirping of birds settling down for the night, the sweep of clouds above him. Faint thunder muttered a little distance away and the first camera-flash of sheet lightning glittered off of the wet rivergrass. Rain coming. He stretched his stiff back-it had been a very long day, and his eyes closed for a moment against another lightning-flash as his shoulders began to relax......  
  
A quiet splash a little down the shoreline brought his attention back with a jerk: What was that? Eyes still closed, he strained to identify what he heard: the lapping of water, the slight rustling of weeds- whatever was making the sounds was getting closer. He gripped the Spear tightly: he was going to have to Change, and he knew it. This--- was probably the last time, too. *Goodbye, humanity* thought Ushio, as a wave of terror and regret washed through him..... Goodbye to so many things- to the life he was living, to school (how could he go back like that?), to the friends who knew an Aotsuki Ushio who was just another guy. Goodbye---  
  
----- And then there was no more time for goodbyes, as green-skinned one-eyed death erupted from the dark river before him and leaped with a roar, claws extended for his throat!! Water splashed in all directions as Ushio brought the Spear around two-handed to block the leap, already feeling the rush of the Change coming on, like the slow advance of anesthesia but immeasurably swifter:   
  
***cold sweep of fire dancing through his veins and burning gladly, oh at last! from crown to sole/knife-edged golden honing of tooth and muscle/night-eyed clarity of vision sharp as a slice of the moon/and fitting close as skin the aspect and attributes of the Spearbearer wrapping round, never letting go, never, ever..... ***  
  
......and it was over now, over forever maybe. He could hear Tora's roar of fury ("BAKEYARO!!! My river, MY place!!! HRRRRAAAAAHHHHRRRR!!!") and his own anger ignited: Bitch, child-eating monster!! Ushio screamed his own battlecry into the face of the slimy water-hag that was now scrabbling for a hold past the haft of the Spear; she shrieked in return and got a clawed hand past his defenses, raking it across his cheek. With a shout of pain, the Spearbearer wheeled in place and shoved the creature hard! towards Tora, who was rushing through the air like doom personified. With outstretched claws and open jaws, the bakemono closed in--- the water-hag ducked, throwing herself backwards into Ushio with a splatter of slimy hair and cold, cold skin. Swearing, he lost his balance and, falling, raked the Spear's point upwards and across the naked back before him. The thing screamed again as greenish ichor bloomed across the wound; faster than a striking snake it spun about to rake painful claws down the length of Ushio's forearm, trading blood for blood. Two things struck the Spearbearer then: first, that while the hag was slower on land than in the water, she wasn't *that* much slower; and second, Tora and the hag-creature both as the bakemono plowed into her from behind!! With a profound SPLASH!! the three struggling beings struck far out into the dark waters--- and Ushio found himself in a very bad position......  
  
Blackness, wet and cold, closed in on his vision; only another who has fallen into deep water at night can know how black..... Silver froth bubbled past, faint even to his vision; hot pain from his chest told him that the creature had landed at least one blow there! A momentary flash of clarity as he fought his way to the surface showed him Tora, leaping impossibly from one splashing surface to another in defiance of gravity as he slashed downwards..... Darkness closed over Ushio's head again as he was yanked downwards in a floating tangle of Spear and swirling hair--- he jabbed at a green flash of skin, only to be rewarded with another knife-edge of pain across his heart as the creature grabbed him with both hands.... *Shit, nothing to brace against--- I can't fight like this!* he thought, desperate for air; as if in answer, he felt himself torn from her grip by one of Tora's huge hands and ripped upwards to the surface to be flung into the air! Brief flight and confusion, THUD!!, and a blackness again, this time of pain, pain.......  
  
....... and then he was aware again, conscious of his momentary unconsciousness; aware, and fighting to breath...... *Breathe, breathe,* he thought fiercely, choking; *what's wrong, what did she do to me, WHY can't I BREATHE?!?* Hot rivers of pain across his chest told his panicked mind part of the problem: the water-hag had hung on with claws embedded deeply, far too deeply when Tora had jerked him back. *God, no, it hurts--- I'm dying, I CAN'T BREATHE----*   
  
Ushio coughed and choked on the fire that scorched his lungs; blood filled his mouth with a taste of hot copper, and he thrashed against the wet ground.... Tora was suddenly in his view, backlit against the sky like a vision of Hell with silver eyes flashing cat-luminous against his fierce face--- he seemed to be shouting something..... Ushio could see his mouth moving, teeth flashing white, but against the roaring in the Spearbearer's ears the words were lost. And everything else was narrowing in--- the sky, the blowing clouds above Tora, all of it beginning to fade into darkness, darkness.... In horror, Ushio fought the loss of awareness, his mind howling *No, I won't die, I WON'T DIE*, but even the pain was going now. He could still see the bakemono-- he could swear that there was a look of... anguish?... on his terrible, familiar face, as the monster threw back his head to scream unheard words at the blackening sky above. Lightning crackled all around them both, momentarily illuminating the clearing...... Everything was greying out, getting distant now--- only Tora, fire on his brow, seemed real.... Oh, GOD, he didn't want to die yet-  
  
.......He was only seventeen...... But it was so dark..... there was only the lightning......  
  
--- and then he saw Tora reach up with both bloody hands to claw the lightning down from the sky in a single shattering bolt!! and then bring one SHARP, wicked talon stabbing downwards like a sword--- *God, NO Tora, I'm not dead yet, don't eat me YET, wait!!-----* to plunge, crackling......  
  
....... into the Spearbearer's heart........  
*************  
There are some pains too great for screams; the only mercy shown with this one was that it was brief, and soon ended.  
*************  
  
Waking. He was awake. Eyes closed, Ushio lay where he was, afraid to open those eyes...... afraid to see what lay before him. The pain was gone, and that was good, he could breath now..... long, deep breaths, tasting life in each one.  
  
Life?  
  
He had been DYING..... No doubt about that. And Tora had---- his mind shied away from that moment (*Tora had been going to eat you at last,* a little whisper said softly; *you were dying, after all...*), and he tried hazily to remember what his father the priest had taught him........ Uhhhhm. There was this guy, Enma-Dai, who would judge his soul and decide where he was to go..... He felt numb. Ushio was aware, distantly, that he should be terrified, horrified, he was DEAD--- wasn't he? But all he really felt was a profound relief that the pain and loss of breath were gone. He didn't hurt anymore; in fact, he felt good, actually kind of strange, but *really* good. Well..... That should be proof enough that he had actually died--- as far as he could tell, his chest had been torn open (*and Tora struck at me with bloody claws and lightning....... Don't think about that, not yet, it hurt too much*). No-one could live through that and just suddenly be OK, not like this. Oh God..... Being numb was better than being afraid, he thought; he could handle things if he just stayed numb.......  
  
He wondered if Tora was still alive. He wondered if Tora had really......... No. *Open your eyes, idiot; face this instead. It hurts less.* And he opened his eyes.  
  
Darkness, with rolling clouds above. Was he in Heaven? He felt cheated; he had always wondered what Enma-Dai looked like...... He was lying on his side with his head propped against something soft.  
  
He shifted a little to lie on his back; where---? He could smell water, green things, and something salty-sweet--- so many scents they were overwhelming. THAT hadn't been in his dad's theology lessons-that Heaven smelled strong?!? His hair was in his eyes, thick and black-and long.... WHAT the hell? He was..... still in Spearbearer form? He lifted a hand to brush his hair back---- and froze:  
  
His hand was black-furred and clawed.  
*************  
  
End of Chapter 2 of 5  
  
  
  
  
7  
  
  



	3. The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch...

--Ushio & Tora: The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch  
Chapter 3 of 5  
  
Ushio could not move; time had stopped for him in a moment of frozen horror. He was in Hell, not Heaven, he had to be...... His hand was still before his eyes, the silvery claws glinting in the faint light reflected from the stormclouds above; the black fur was short and dense, like a cat's..... Like a bakemono's...... No. Like what the bakemono in his dreams had.  
  
Oh, no. THIS wasn't real. The dreams were only dreams.......  
  
Slowly the Spearbearer sat up, leaning back against the bulk behind him. *Everything* felt so strange, and he was afraid to look--- more afraid than he had been even of the thought of death: This might be WORSE. But he had to look..... Black fur, legs shaped as they had never been before, a *tail*...... His eyes closed involuntarily; he refused to look closer. There were some things that a guy just shouldn't have to see change...... He could feel a groan beginning deep in his chest; it came out deep and rumbling, deeper than it should've been. Deeper than it *could've* been, before. And then the thing that he was leaning against shifted, and he heard Tora say quietly "So..... Awake at last." Ushio shivered as an unexpected wave of relief washed through him--- Tora hadn't eaten him at all, Tora wasn't dead..... And neither was he, apparently. He turned his head (his vision was strange, too--- had the night been this bright before? Or this *loud*?), and realized what he was leaning against.  
  
Tora. Looking..... smaller..... than usual? No. HE was larger--- his own black-furred hand rested on the earth near the bakemono's, smaller, but not really by much. Thinner. Shorter claws. Slowly he pushed away from the monster (*like me, like me* his mind moaned) and rose clumsily to his four feet..... FOUR feet; it seemed natural. Swaying slightly as his balance adjusted, he whispered "Tora.... W-what've you done? I-"; he couldn't continue. His very words were a terrifying thing, a softer, frightened version of Tora's rumbling growl. He could feel his voice in the depths of his chest, deep and unfamiliar-he could feel his ears flatten deep within the shaggy mane that sprang from his scalp and flowed like a torrent around his shoulders. A ridge of something--- fur?--- stood up along his spine, and Ushio sank back on his haunches, tail tucked.  
  
He tried to continue: "I.... was dying.... You did something..... with the lightning?" The bakemono nodded briefly, wrinkling his nose and showing his teeth in a grimace; Ushio saw that he was clutching his left wrist with his right hand, blood staining them both.   
  
"I told you, Brat: Making a human into a bakemono is a difficult thing--- you need blood, death, lightning and power. You were dying: That was the death. I was bleeding: So, the blood. I borrowed lightning from the sky, and the power was yours and mine each." He licked at his wrist like a housecat.  
  
The former temple boy was shivering with shock; "Did you have to do THIS?!?" he cried. It came out as a hissing growl, low and painful to hear. Tora simply sat there staring at him from inscrutable silver eyes. "Would you rather have died, you ungrateful little bastard? Your LIFE was running out all over the ground!! Hrrrrrrrrrr.... I should've known better than to try and help a human; I should've eaten you instead!" The bakemono spat on the mud between them. Ushio shrank back; maybe death *would've* been easier to deal with than than this.......  
  
A sudden THWACK! rocked his head on his shoulders; reflexively he swung a clawed hand towards his tormenter. Wrong thing to do; Tora caught him by the wrist and pulled him skywards in a leap, holding Ushio dangling. "GET OVER IT, BRAT!!" snapped the monster, flinging him down to land sprawling in the wet grass. "Do you think that you're the first human to ever be changed?!? I could have EATEN YOU if I wanted--- I didn't have to do what I did!" Now lightning crackled in tiny arcs between the hovering monster's outstretched claws; he laughed sardonically, and Ushio stared up at him. The bakemono looked peculiar to his eyes---- he could see better than before, clearly even through the darkness. "I could have eaten you...." the monster said again, softer now, reflective.  
  
"Tora....... Yes. I thought--- you were going to"; he coughed, trying to get used to his strange new voice. He kept feeling as if he needed to clear his throat. In a very human gesture he rubbed at his eyes with the back of one black hand. "This is like--- the dreams, this is how I was in the dreams...." Ushio felt his lips drawing back from sharp, sharp teeth. The first wave of shock was beginning to pass now, and he slowly got back to his feet. Tora landed a little ways away and sat watching him in the long river grass, his striped face curious and faintly amused. Ushio hesitated for a moment and then, moving carefully, walked unsteadily down to the river's edge to look fearfully at his reflection in the shallows.  
  
Oh, strange, strange..... A black, wide-jawed narrow-chinned face with golden, pupil-less eyes stared back. His forehead was marked with a single streak of white that split the shock of black, shining mane like the lightning that had changed him. He was more angular, much slighter in build than Tora was; here and there he could see tiny streaks of white among the darkness of his pelt, marking the scars of his young life..... And there, on his chest: a great blaze of silver, his almost-death painted in pale fur. He turned his head to either side, blinking; yes, his teeth *were* sharp, as sharp as Tora's own. Sitting back on his haunches, he looked over his shoulder: that tail-how did one manage a tail? In answer to his anxiety it was flicking back and forth like a metronome. The quiet pad of footsteps behind him made Ushio turn his head; Tora slipped up to sit beside him on the shoreline, peering down at their two reflections as if looking for answers in the darkness. Night-black, fire-orange, the bakemono faces hovered in the rippling mirror of water.  
  
He was somewhat *shorter* than Tora, too. Big surprise there.  
  
Tora spoke: "So you thought I was going to eat you?" The bakemono paused for a moment. "I could have, of course..... A strange thing; I chose to save you instead." He snorted; "But if you're not happy with being alive, I could remedy that...." He laughed again softly at their reflections.  
  
Ushio sat still, thinking hard. Life--- even like this--- was better than death; he was alive! Not a corpse floating down the river, not a water-yokai's lunch: Alive! Unnoticed, his tail lashed harder as anger began a slow burn through his veins at the thought of the source of all his grief, all his pain..... "That bitch" he whispered; "She caused this; this is HER fault! Child-eating monsterrrrrrhhrarrrr---" He realized that he was actually growling. Through a growing haze of fury he felt his claws digging into the bank, scoring the mud deeply. Beside him he heard an approving grunt. "Keep that in mind" hissed Tora. "Anger will make you strong; self-pity makes you weak--- and you can't afford weakness now." He stepped back a little and looked Ushio up and down critically. "You make a good monster, Brat..... all black like that. Better than being a pathetic little human, eh?" He chuckled and reached out to tug roughly at Ushio's dark mane, much as he had yanked his hair earlier that day.  
  
Ushio swatted the hand away and nearly fell over; what was with Tora anyway? He seemed almost--- what? Pleased? No, not exactly pleased, but definitely in a wierd mood. Didn't he realize how terrible this was? Ushio's world had ended! He wasn't human anymore..... but the Spear had been going to change that anyway, hadn't it?   
  
Was this so much worse? Was full measure easier to bear than half?  
  
He didn't know; and now he could never know. All he knew right now was that, one way or another, he would get his revenge on the thing that had caused this. It was his right; he had earned it with his blood. Revenge was perhaps not the best way to begin a new life, but..... Maybe here, maybe now, it was appropriate. Ushio sighed deeply and turned to look at Tora, who stared back, silver eyes into gold. "Tora--- "  
  
"Now what? More complaints, Ushio-Brat?" The bakemono shook his mane back in an exasperated manner.  
  
"No. No more complaints. Just.... Thanks. Thank you."  
  
The monster froze for a moment, then cocked his head curiously to one side. "..... Urrrrrm? Hrrrrrrrrhh." He seemed more than a little nonplused and shook his head again, whipping his mane back from his face. There was a moment of silence between them; then he laughed a little to himself and looked out over the river. "We should go; no bakemonotachi here now." None but us, thought Ushio sadly. He also looked out across the dark water, then up at the cloudy sky above, wondering. Go where? And.... how? Surely Tora didn't expect him to *fly*, did he? He flexed his new claws in the mud again. Revenge would have to wait until he had mastered his new body; he could feel the desire still burning in him, firelight in the darkness--- but he needed time. And he needed something else, too---  
  
Golden eyes gleaming, he looked around; ahh, there it was, washing gently against the shore. The Kemono No Yari's red silk streamers rippled in the waves as Ushio reached a black hand out; he heard Tora draw a sharp breath---  
  
And he took up the Spear. Cloud-light reflecting off the river glinted along sharp silver edges (silver like Ushio's claws) as he ran one hand down the haft to wipe away waterweed and a dulling of mud. The Kemono No Yari seemed to quiver in his grasp---- almost to protest, he thought for a cold moment--- then it subsided, accepting its Bearer's touch. Behind him, he heard Tora exhale in unmistakable relief.  
*************  
They walked home, keeping to the shadows; it seemed to take forever. The problem of how to carry the Spear was solved by simply knotting it into its bearer's black mane. Ushio slowly learned to coordinate his movements to a four-footed gait (he kept tripping over his own feet at first, providing Tora no end of amusement). There were so many things to remember--- not to extend his claws as he walked ("You'll blunt them, stupid"), to use his tail for balance ("Keep it level-- you're not a housecat"), to keep his head up, not down ("Stop that, Idiot-are you a dog?"). He found his new eyes easily adequate against the darkness of the streets. There were so many scents: earth, almond sap, asphalt, dog pee, fast food, humans; the stink of cars and a strong, interesting reek that he eventually realized came from a butcher's shop..... And the sounds! Tiny popping of insects and worms below his feet, the sleepy rustle and chirp of birds overhead, a dull buzzing hum from the power lines to either side. The dark streets were filled with information that he could only barely begin to read; he felt ridiculously ignorant.  
  
By the time they reached the Aotsuki temple gates, Ushio was stumbling; his new muscles required coordination that only practice would give him. Tora paced in silence, eyes half-lidded against the streetlights. He occasionally glanced over at Ushio speculatively, an odd expression on his striped face; at last, the former temple boy could stand it no longer. "What? What is it?" He brushed his black mane back from his eyes.  
  
Tora shrugged in a very humanlike gesture. "Strange to be with another like myself" he said briefly. "Bakemonotachi seldom hunt in packs. Fortunate for humans, eh?" He chuckled and moved forward to pass beneath the temple arch.   
  
*Good thing Dad's away* thought Ushio, his heart thumping a little faster at the prospect of explaining THIS to his father. And what about Asako? Better say goodbye to any prospects *there*----- Shit, that'd be, what.... bestiality? or worse? *I'm not going to think about it at all* he told himself, firmly squashing the wail that seemed to be rising straight from his hormones...... or whatever a bakemono had. Never mind. Tora had already slipped through the wall of the house in his usual ghostly manner; could Ushio do that? *Uhhhhhhh.....* He stepped forward and touched the stone; it seemed pretty solid to him. How the hell did you move through stone?!? His housekeys were (presumably) lying back on the shore among the ruined and bloody tatters of his clothing; Ushio considered breaking the door down--- he badly wanted the sanctuary of his room, but....  
  
The matter was made moot by the abrupt hand that reached through the substance of the wall, grabbing him by his shoulder and yanking him through. God, what a weird sensation--- he gave himself a brief, hard shake; it had felt.... rather like passing through a very cold waterfall. "Thanks" he mumbled. Tora just shrugged. "You have a hell of a lot to learn, Brat" was all he said, sounding pleased, and turned away to rummage through the refrigerator.  
  
Tora could eat if he wanted to; Ushio had rather more important things on his tired, stressed-out mind. *Shit, what a HELL of a day* he thought morosely as he slowly stumbled up the stairs to his room (stairs weren't too bad, but they were awkward; he kept stubbing his..... hands? forefeet?). His room, at last! Sanctuary; the familiar clutter was paradise to his eyes. Propping the Spear in its usual place, he carefully curled up on the bed (*Finally too big but not too tall, huh* he thought), hearing the wood creak under his weight. How much did he weigh now? Time for a little self-inspection......  
  
Certain parts of this were to be dreaded, but Ushio sweated them through; his, ummm, more intimate areas seemed to be working adequately (although he didn't want to think too hard about using the bathroom yet). He found himself marveling at the intricacies of retractable claws--- just how *did* the damned things work, anyway? He raked them carefully across a bedpost, carving deep grooves through the wood; it felt--- good. His muscles were hard and supple, massively stronger than before; they felt good too. Even rising to pace restlessly across his floor felt good-though he couldn't keep it up for too long. Shit, he was practically having to learn how to walk all over again! But.... it still felt good just to *move*.  
  
In fact, that was part of the problem. It *all* felt good--- too good; he should be a tight ball of gibbering shock by now. But there was a certain euphoria that went with sheer physical well-being, and he was awash with it; after the pain of nearly dying, it felt..... good. Very good.  
  
Ushio sat on his haunches by his window, tail flicking slightly; the sky was clearing now and the winds brought a strong scent of.... uhhhhm, rain-on-tar-and-tiles? Oh, yeah--- his neighbors' rooftops. Funny, he had always thought that animals identified scents automatically; you never thought they had to learn what they were.  
  
But he wasn't an animal. He remembered that guy Hyou the Chinese monster-hunter calling a bakemono 'the animal that is not an animal'. He was a monster. Like Tora. *Wonder what Hyou would think of me now?* He sighed and rested his chin on the windowsill. With a careful claw he delicately scratched 'USHIO' onto the ledge, peeling away the hard wood with ease. *Wonder if I can still paint? I've still got two hands-- even if they are a lot bigger; I don't see why not.* He flexed his fingers, extending and retracting the claws.  
  
More self-inspection. Ushio padded into the bathroom (*Goddammit, I can hardly fit!*) and examined his face critically in the mirror. Hmmmmm. Tora was right--- he did actually make a 'good monster', with his sleek dark fur and white markings. His bone-straight black mane trailed around him nearly to the ground, and he looked..... terrifying. Beautifully frightening. Ushio bared his sharp teeth at his own reflection; wouldn't *those* feel fine biting down on that fucking bitch of a water-yokai? Well, he'd just have to see about it, wouldn't he?  
  
The prospect..... felt very good.  
  
And, later, looking out into the night, it still felt good. Ushio thought about it while the clouds blew away and the stars came out and until he fell asleep, curled up around the Spear beside his window and warmed by the steady, hot flame of revenge.  
*************  
..... slowly rising like a bubble from the depths of sleep, running now: running, running and running, chasing after the stag whose rich scent tantalized him so; claws barely touching the leafy ground, springing through the air like a roaring, black comet to land across the warm animal body, hot blood sweet in his mouth, sharp teeth tearing......  
.........!!!   
  
And Ushio woke, to feel the floorboards splintering and shredding beneath his claws.  
  
With a distinct feeling of déjà vu, he stretched his full length, yawning widely. There was no question of "What happened to me, am I dreaming?" or any of that trite crap; he recalled EVERYTHING from the previous day........ Ohhhhh, yeah. He remembered every little detail.  
  
As if he could forget any of it. Not likely, not in this life or in any other.  
  
He slowly rose to his four feet, and then cautiously to two, wavering back to four as his balance shifted; Tora seldom walked on only two legs but could if he wanted to. Ushio could see why he didn't often, though-this body was designed for horizontal movement, not vertical. It was also apparently designed to have a horrible taste in its mouth upon awakening. Urrrrrrgh..... Could he do something about brushing his teeth? Maybe later. Scratching at the pale blaze on his chest, Ushio looked ruefully at the ripped-up patch of floor. Great, just great. He was *still* having dreams!  
  
*What a way to wake up. You would think that I had earned a little peace, wouldn't you?* Ushio thought with irritation. He stretched once more, knotting the Spear into his heavy hair again and looked towards the bathroom with a certain trepidation. Reflecting on the (hopefully) reassuring fact that some things really couldn't change too much no matter what shape you wore, he wobbled into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  
  
.....Silence, then a faint clattering; thud of a too-large bakemono whamming a body-part against a bathroom wall, accompanied by vile cursing (Ushio was picking up Tora's habits). Bangs and thumps as maneuverability became a rather desperate problem....... Quiet again, punctuated by faint muttered swearing. Finally, thuds and liquid splashes from the bathtub and the hissing of a bathroom shower......  
  
Having dealt with *that* issue, Ushio slunk down the stairs towards the kitchen a few minutes later; he would have to clean the bathroom when he had the chance. He didn't want to think about it.  
*************  
  
*If I were a monster,* mused Ushio, *what would I eat for breakfast?* As he WAS a monster now, he should be able to figure it out. *Keep calm, now; too early for hysterics* he thought grimly. Hmmmmmm. He wondered where Tora was; it wasn't like the ancient bakemono to miss his morning coffee (though he tended to supplement it with the occasional bird, squirrel or part of Ushio's breakfast). He carefully flicked the refrigerator door open, trying not to overdo it (the new strength and size would *definitely* take some getting used to!): some rather hard cheese, a head of wilted lettuce, rice that had seen better days, an open can of peaches, some withered carrots..... He settled for the cheese and peaches, trying hard not to think about birds or squirrels. The kitchen seemed so much smaller; even though he was moving with care, he knocked an unwashed spoon off the counter. With inhuman speed he picked it out of the air as it fell--- and sat for a minute, regarding it thoughtfully. This..... wasn't all bad, he supposed; it had its moments.   
  
And he had better get used to it damned fast. There was this little matter of revenge..... He could panic and mourn the loss of his humanity later. That was one of the *good* things about being only seventeen: you bounced back quickly.  
  
Breakfast. Out of habit, Ushio started a pot of the usual coffee while he ate. It took him three tries (he kept putting his claws through the filters). Flavors were..... peculiar; apparently his sense of taste had changed drastically. The cheese was OK, but the peaches seemed oddly sour and unappetizing. Chewing was a bit difficult, too; his teeth were designed more for biting--- no wonder Tora gulped things so. Tentatively the former temple boy began experimenting; hmmmmm..... Anything salty or very sweet was tasty, while bland or mild items were not especially so, and uncooked vegetables were totally disgusting. Strong flavors were definitely best. And.... What WAS that scent? Rich and powerful, dark and complex, it stroked his senses.  
  
Of all things, it was the coffee. *You're kidding* he thought. Ushio had always disliked coffee. But it smelled.... wonderful. He eyed the pot; Tora usually didn't bother with a cup or anything like that, but.... Ushio fished a couple of mixing bowls from under the sink and carefully split the coffee between them. Well, that looked good-it was a pity he had pulled the cabinet hinges loose, though. Man, everything seemed so *small*! His bowl felt like a sake cup in his hand; he could palm it easily. As he inhaled the coffee's aroma appreciatively, he felt a breath on the back of his neck and nearly dropped the bowl.  
  
"Shit, Tora, don't sneak up on me like that! Are you trying to give me a heart attack or what?"  
  
The monster was leaning casually against the wall behind Ushio, watching him. He snorted; "Bakemono don't get heart attacks, stupid." Reaching past, he took his coffee 'cup' and went into the living room to sprawl across the couch in his usual fashion. Ushio grunted in exasperation and took a taste..... Not at all bad; the bitterness that he had always hated was still there, but.... It was different somehow. Well, actually, the coffee was the same; *he* had changed. He took a larger swallow; the heat felt good in his throat.  
  
God--- how was he going to explain this to his dad? Ushio sighed. Most fathers were good about accepting their son's idiosyncrasies (to a certain extent, anyway). His old man was pretty pig-headed, but not a bad guy; he had handled the whole Spearbearer issue with equanimity, and even got along with Tora in a sort of minimalist way..... Ushio swirled the last of his coffee around in its container, watching his reflection flash light and dark on the surface. Sometimes he suspected that Dad knew a lot more than he would say about the Spear and its history; he hadn't really been as surprised by the whole thing as his son would've expected.  
  
He was sure in for a hell of a shock this time, though.  
  
Tora was watching him again. Well, Ushio could give as well as he got. Swallowing the last of his coffee, he leaned against the counter and looked calmly back, gold eyes into silver. "Good morning, Tora." The orange bakemono grunted briefly and glanced at the coffeemaker; Ushio shrugged and started another pot (there were sure a lot of grounds underfoot). The Spear was a little awkward bound into his hair like that; he slipped it out and propped it against the counter, knocking some more cutlery to the floor in the process. It still felt..... necessary..... to have it near him at all times, but he had to come up with a better way of carrying it; this was convenient, but got in the way a little.  
  
Propping the door open, Ushio looked out into the new day. The sun was just above the horizon. Early swallows swooped through the still-cool morning air, chasing their shadows across the yard; a faint hint of growing things (bamboo? pondgrass?) ghosted across his senses to mingle with the scent of the brewing coffee. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply. It was very strange how much information he could get without even using his sight. A tiny clink and rattle of ceramic told him that this would be a windy day as tiles on nearby roofs shifted- he could hear them as clearly as the windchime by his bedroom window; the breeze brought him the first aromas of baking from the pastry shop a block away. At least those sounds and smells were understandable. He breathed deeper. Ushio could catch his own scent (wood and metal, fur, coffee, cheese, peaches), his father's (human sweat, cloth, dusty books) and a musky, faintly rank odor that had to be Tora. Other scents too, so many that he couldn't even begin to identify them: sweetness of flowers, mechanical stinks, animal reek, lots of cooking food, something itchy that was probably incense--- a whole world of information that humans could only faintly touch. Intoxicated and a little overwhelmed by the sensory richness, Ushio was only marginally aware of Tora moving up to sit quietly beside him.  
  
"So, brat..... What do you think of it? Is it so different, being bakemono?" For once, the monster's tone carried nothing besides curiosity; Tora actually wanted to know.  
  
The former temple boy leaned back against the doorframe, eyes still shut. "Different...... yeah. Very different. I thought I'd hate it, but... it's not so bad. Hard to get used to, though; I can hear and smell so much better, and things taste different. I'm a lot stronger, too." He opened his eyes.  
  
"But I can't walk worth a damn, much less run..... How the hell do you manage four legs all the time? I keep trying to stand up on my, uhhh, hind legs, and I fall over." He scratched irritably at the pale blaze on his chest again. "That bitch that caused this is still out there. Tora, she'll keep eating kids.........." Ushio felt his lips peeling back from his teeth..... Oh, how he'd love to sink those teeth into the water-hag that was the source of his problems! How he would bite her, how he would tear her---- *What the HELL am I thinking?!?"* His breath caught and he dropped his makeshift coffeecup with a clatter.  
  
Tora was watching him curiously. His partner shivered and leaned against the counter, feeling a little panicky. "Tora--- I, I'm not thinking much like a human anymore--- I keep thinking about how much I want to, to *bite* her, to..... tear her into pieces. I can't--- " he stopped for a moment, breathing a little harder. "I can't seem to help it! ......... Do *you* think like this...... all the time?" His question was barely audible.  
  
The ancient monster had a most peculiar expression on his striped face; Ushio could not, for the life of him, decipher it. Wonder? Apprehension? Usually the bakemono was so full of himself..... He scratched with one claw deep in his orange mane. "Hrrrrrrhhmmmmmm. Maybe you're not as stupid as you look." He sounded grudgingly impressed. "Those are body thoughts. Your body is thinking for you." He shrugged. "That can be good; it helps you to fight-- but you need to think with your head as well as your claws." Tora swallowed the last of his coffee and casually dropped the bowl onto the floor to lie by Ushio's.  
  
"Anyway, Ushio-Brat, why *should* you think like a human? You're not human now, you will never be human again. You are bakemono..... The sooner you get used to that, the easier it will be for you. Stop thinking about that foreigner and think about your body instead, or......." Tora made a snapping motion with his jaws, the equivalent of a human's 'throat-cutting' gesture. Ushio swallowed.  
  
A thought seemed to strike the ancient monster. "Hey, Brat: You spar in the mornings, don't you? Practice with that damned Spear?" The former temple boy nodded, still breathing a little quickly.  
  
"So practice with me. You'll get used to moving that way--- and, just this once, I promise not to kill you!" He grinned, white teeth shining like a shark's. Ushio hesitated; this was one thing he and Tora had never done--- practiced together. It seemed like a good idea, though..... He nodded. "Sounds OK. Thanks. And..... I'll put the Spear up in my room if you want me to."  
  
The orange bakemono frowned; "No..... bring it. I want it where I can see it."  
*************  
  
An hour later Ushio was wondering if he had lost his mind along with his humanity, agreeing to such a goddamned stupid idea. Bruised, abused, scratched and aching, he lay sprawled in the shade of an almond tree and panted. Tora smirked at him from where he perched atop a stone wall; the other bakemono had not a hair out of place and not a single scratch anywhere.  
  
And was enjoying himself *immensely*.  
  
With a groan, Ushio pushed himself back to his four feet. He started to wipe the blood from the back of one hand and then, giving in to new instinct, licked at it gingerly. Eeewww... well, blood still tasted like blood, anyway. Or his did, at least. But licking it seemed to be the right thing to do. Tora just watched him, still smirking; if anything, his grin widened a little.  
  
His pride stinging worse than his scratches, Ushio crouched down in what felt like a good fighting stance. Tora blinked down at him and turned his head to one side. "Look, Idiot. You are NOT an animal, you are a monster. You have hands-- so use them! You have teeth, use them too!" He laughed wickedly. "Or do I have to show you how to bite again?" The former temple boy crouched lower, growling; he had several crescent-shaped rows of teethmarks to give evidence of Tora's proficiency with his teeth.  
  
The ancient bakemono continued: "Don't just leap at me; plan what you'll do when you leap! Go for my throat with your claws, or my eyes, or try to knock me off balance..... much good may *that* do you, though..... You are fast; that's good. Your claws are sharp, your teeth also. Good. BE fast, be clawed and fanged!" He smiled down at Ushio again and seemed to come to a decision. "Here; I'll close my eyes. Attack me!" And, still smiling, he closed his silver eyes and waited.  
  
The black bakemono bristled; he rose to his feet and decided to try a different tactic. So far he had been leaping directly at Tora's face-- this had resulted in some major Kicking-Of-Ushio's-Ass, so maybe going after another target would work better. He slunk back and forth in front of the other, moving more easily now despite his aches; Tora sat still, waiting. Ushio could see the very tip of his dark orange tail twitching, flick, flick, flick--- and finally it proved to be just too tempting......  
  
So instead of going for his opponent's throat, Ushio leaped low and grabbed the tail, yanking HARD! Tora's eyes shot open in shock: he hadn't expected that! Off balance and flailing wildly, he fell off the wall to land with a crash in front of his partner; Tora's yowl of indignation made the few remaining birds around take flight hurriedly. Still pulling, Ushio laughed; a thwack! against his jaw made his head ring, so he decided to put his teeth to use while he still had them....  
  
As he bit Tora's tail with all his might, the other bakemono's howl of fury made the tiles on the roof rattle.  
  
The next thing Ushio knew, he was viewing the world upside down..... He was lying in a tangled heap across the yard from where he had been moments earlier, legs sprawling every which way, mane tangled across his face and in his eyes. Tora sat on the other side of the clearing, nursing his injury and cursing steadily in a stream of growling profanity that was only occasionally understandable. "....goddam shit-eating little akuma bastard, don't you EVER touch my tail again!!!" he concluded, snarling. But the low, rumbling growl began to break, staggered, and finally fell over into ragged laughter. Ushio blinked bemusedly; he slowly sat up and felt his own lips twitching. It *was* funny; if he had ever tried to pull Tora's tail while human, he was certain that the bakemono would've had him for lunch. And for some reason, that was funny too.... And he HAD actually gotten past Tora's defenses. Grinning, he stood back up, rubbing at his aching head. "Want to try again?"  
  
Tora grinned back, eyes flashing silver in the sunlight. "I'll keep my eyes open this time." And then (much to Ushio's surprise) HE leaped!  
  
They went down in a tangle of black-and-orange fur, claws flying, long limbs everywhere. Dust rose in clouds from the yard as the two monsters rolled back with Tora's momentum to hit the wall behind them. A swipe of claws across Ushio's short muzzle made him hiss in pain, and he retaliated by kicking Tora hard in the stomach with both hind feet. Tora's "Ooomph!" was music to his ears; so was the satisfying crash! that the orange bakemono made as he landed on the ground a few feet away--- Expecting a return attach, Ushio crouched low, teeth bared, tail lashing. Instead, though, Tora lay where he was, panting. After a moment, though, the former temple boy relaxed; he must have taken the fight out of the older monster. *Not too shabby, yeah!* he thought, grinning to himself and licking blood from the corner of his mouth. He looked upwards towards Tora-----  
  
WHAMMMMMM!!!  
  
Later (after his head stopped ringing), Ushio would consider the stupidity of letting one's guard down, even for a second, in a monster's presence.  
*************  
Dinner was pizza, ordered over a carefully dialed phone, with the money left on the doorstep. Well, actually it was *four* pizzas, and the two that Ushio wolfed down gave him mild heartburn. But they were filling, and actually tasted pretty good, all things considered. At least he didn't have to kill them to eat them.......  
*************  
The next two days followed much the same pattern as the first in Ushio's new life; he concentrated on the major business of Getting Used To The Body. Both bakemonotachi ate quite a lot of pizza and other take-out (or rather, drop-off) food. Sparring with Tora made up most of Ushio's waking hours; the orange bakemono seemed oddly content with the situation, almost..... happy, in a way. He was as rough and bad-tempered as ever, but--- compared to earlier--- he was absolutely *civil* to Ushio. This was pretty wierd, as far as the former temple boy was concerned; and he found himself wondering: Do monsters ever get..... lonely?   
  
Late at night, three days into his change, he sat on the roof of his home and pondered the matter as he looked up at the stars. Ushio had yet to master the ghostly through-the-wall bit that Tora did but was proficient enough with his new limbs now that a leap onto the roof was easily done. It was oddly comfortable up there, with the cool night wind blowing his mane back from his face and the stars winking above; high places felt reassuring. He could see so well; raising his eyes to the heavens, he marveled at the colors of the jewels that twinkled there; Ushio could not recall ever seeing *colors* in stars before..... He shifted; the tiles were cool beneath him where he sat, and the Kemono No Yari lay still and peaceful under his claws. Night-blooming jasmine scented the air.  
  
The Spear had been quiet these past few days; almost Ushio felt that it was waiting, waiting for its bearer to master his new form before..... Well, before what? The black bakemono breathed in the fragrant air and considered, golden eyes half-slitted. The longer he waited, the more time passed, the more kids were likely to be eaten by that slimy thing.....  
  
Above him the stars shown down, cool and full of fire. The desire for revenge, which had lain as still and cool as the Spear during the last few days, grew a little hotter at the memory of a cold grip on his ankle, cold water in his lungs, pain in his chest---- and he realized that he was growling softly to himself. So what? He was a monster now, wasn't he? Monsters growled.   
  
The sound died away across the silent tiles, fading into wind.   
  
Ushio was still the Spearbearer as well, and that carried responsibilities that he could never, ever refuse--- no matter what shape he wore. He looked down; the haft lay beneath his claws, and the Spear's edges reflected back the light of many, many stars. As he contemplated it the Spear rang faintly back at him, tattered red streamers fluttering in the breeze.  
  
Funny; he had to be the first bearer of the Kemono No Yari with fur and claws. And he knew who he had to thank for that, too.  
  
Revenge burned a little hotter, a little higher.  
  
A nightbird called in the distance; it had to be pretty late, nearly dawn. Ushio wondered where Tora was; hunting? flying? He hadn't dared to ask about the flying bit--- he'd had a hard enough time *walking* to begin with. Maybe later, much later. He had other things to think about now. He sniffed at the wind. And speak of the devil........  
  
Tora landed lightly on the roof a few feet away. He did not look at his partner; instead he lifted his eyes also to the stars. Quietly the two bakemono sat on the rooftop, contemplating the endless sky like a pair of stone temple guardians.  
  
Above them wheeled the expanse of the night, wide and open to the winds of heaven. There was Corvus, the crow, starry wings spread in flight; the Arabic constellation called 'the Leaps of the Gazelle' picked its way in twin pairs of silver across the heights. And looking down, arm outstretched, there was Orion with his dogs at his heels. The Hunter himself.  
  
As the night wind whispered across the trees, Tora said softly: "I missed this most of all, Down There, trapped with that bastard Spear through me-- the sky." Old memories darkened his vision for a moment; then his eyes flashed silver back at heaven, challenging its fire with Tora's own. "For a long time, it's what I wanted most, even more than vengeance. And I have it now." He smiled to himself, a striped shadow with a shine of teeth and eyes breaking up his darkness.   
  
Ushio was silent; it was unlike his partner to be so... eloquent. Wierd. Why now? Maybe because the ancient bakemono..... wasn't alone anymore? It would explain a lot. He brushed threads of black mane from his eyes and raised them up to meet the silver gaze of the stars.  
  
"So, Ushio-brat. What will you do now? You're not too bad with the fighting, once you put your teeth into it; what will you do now?"  
  
And in the cool darkness a little before the dawn, Aotsuki Ushio, Spearbearer and bakemono, turned golden eyes to his partner and said softly "Let's go hunting."  
*************  
  
End of Chapter 3 of 5  



	4. The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch...

Ushio & Tora: The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch  
Chapter 4 of 5  
By Ysabet  
  
Beyond the Aotsuki family's temple gates, the streets were beginning to wake up to the new dawn. It was still very early. Doors were being unlatched, stalls set up, deliveries made; the scents of tea and auto exhaust mingled on the still-cool breeze. Few people were about as yet, and they were all intent on their own business. Who had time to spare to look around? The day wasn't getting any younger, after all.  
  
And what was there to see, anyway? Dead leaves crackling and stirring in the gutter, surely they were being disturbed by the wind and not by unseen footsteps. And if something soft and warm happened to brush against a passerby, well--- that must be the wind too. Nothing there, obviously.  
  
And as for the soft conversation that wandered through the first noise of the day, even that must be the wind. What use was there in turning your head to listen? There was nothing to see. And nothing to hear, really….. It was just the wind.  
  
But currently the wind seemed to be arguing with itself in two raspy voices. "---- and I don't plan to *start* eating dogs when I'm hungry, either, Tora! When the hell did you start doing that?!?" The wind laughed nastily. "Bakemono can't starve to death--- but we do get hungry. And besides, you said yourself that there were too many strays around. Don't be such an asshole. What were you planning on eating?"  
  
Pacing unseen beside the orange monster, Ushio snarled. "Not a dog, goddammit! I *like* dogs! And no cats, either!" He was fast getting a headache; this 'staying invisible' bit took concentration and practice--- and he didn't really have the inclination or the time for either. The burn for revenge had melted and merged with a much simpler drive: hunting. It was distracting; he knew, if he really thought about it, that he was doing this so that no more kids would be drowned and eaten. But at the same time there was that simple, animal urge to chase, to catch….. It was clouding Ushio's thoughts, making him edgy and impatient.  
  
Beside him, Tora shrugged and kept on walking. "Not cats, of course; they stick in the teeth. And they give me heartburn." Ushio shuddered; strays or pets, he was NOT about to start eating dogs and cats. Urrrrgh. He paused a moment to shift the set of the Spear across his back; it was uncomfortable, bumping about like that. There *had* to be a better way of carrying it!  
  
Later. He had more important things to think about. Finding the water-yokai was definitely number one on his list--- he had plans for his new teeth and claws and an intimate introduction to their workings. It might even make the changes he had undergone worthwhile.  
  
And then what? What do you do when your old life ends? He'd manage, he always did--- being the Spearbearer had taught him a lot in his young life about surviving. But oh, so many things to miss…… He had been a healthy seventeen-year-old male, with all the usual attendant hormones, apprehensions and expectations; the few chances he had had at, ahhhh, exploring his options (so to speak) had made him pretty damn anxious to further his experience. Well, shit; so much for that. Any future explorations would have to involve something other than teenage girls, and he *really* wasn't ready to face THAT concept….. And, not for anything in heaven or earth was he going to talk to Tora about the subject!! No way, no how.  
  
He wondered how a bakemono went about locating others of the opposite sex and nearly walked into a stack of wooden crates. Beside him, Tora grunted questioningly. Ushio flattened his ears; "….Nothing. Just thinking."  
  
The monster snorted. "You had better keep your mind on how to find that foreigner. We can't use you as bait this time. Of course," he went on in a contemplative tone, "we could find a nice, tender human child and tie it to a tree somewhere down by the water….." He trailed off at Ushio's look of horror and shrugged again.  
  
What was it Tora had called the water-yokai? "Her name--- `Jenny', umm, what was the rest of it?"  
  
The other bakemono was watching a young woman unpack a box of used books; the musty-sweet odor of dust and paper floated on the wind. "Griin-tiith. Something like that. Ugly bitch, wasn't she? Sharp claws, too." Yes, thought Ushio. Sharp. "Well, she'll see how sharp mine are soon." He felt his lips draw back in anticipation. Behind him, the Spear hummed softly in response.  
  
The marketplace near the river was gearing up for a busy day; already the two hunters could catch the odors of frying food on the breeze, mixed with those of hot cardboard and styrofoam containers. A breath of sweat-scent from a heavyset man unloading crates of cabbages made Ushio blink; humans smelled….. interesting. Thank God they didn't smell like food to him. Each one smelled so different, though; all human, but amazingly individual. He sniffed deeply: warm-salt-cabbage-sweat, that was the worker; tears-soap-powder-that was the baby being pushed past them in a stroller. The child's eyes widened at the sight of the two bakemonotachi and she gurgled happily at them, reaching a chubby hand; it just missed Tora's fur, and he continued on unawares. Oh yeah, that was right; Tora had told him that children could often see the unseen--- they hadn't trained their minds to ignore the world yet. Ushio drew in yet another deep breath, sampling the life around him: riverscent, dead fish, sun-on-metal, cut grass, pigeons, old wood---- he stumbled slightly, brushing against Tora. The bakemono swore. "Hey Brat--- can't you keep on your feet? What's your problem?" Ushio muttered "Sorry" and continued walking. "It's just…. everything's so--- It all smells so, uh, *strong*. Different. Interesting. How do you keep your mind on what you're doing?" He inhaled again, only to be brought up short by a human scent that was actually familiar: lotus-flower, some kind of herbal shampoo (he guessed), and an elusive aroma that defied identification:  
  
Mayuko. He had always thought, even as a child, that she had smelled wonderful. He didn't know what it was, exactly; it wasn't like Asako's scent (which he found himself wanting badly to sample), not that compelling, womanhood scent….. But it was Mayuko's, and she was somewhere nearby. He froze in his tracks even as Tora bit off the scathing remark he had been amount to make. "The Hamburger Girl!" he hissed happily; ever since she had fed him hamburgers (in lieu of being eaten herself) she been given that designation. Both bakemonotachi looked around, Tora with anticipation and Ushio with extreme trepidation. No way; he did NOT feel like facing her now! Not her, not Asako (*especially* not Asako!), not any human being. Not yet…… He jerked back, looking desperately around--- near, very near; what the hell was she doing around here at this time of morning?!? "Tora!" he snarled, "I don't want her to see me! Where--?" But it was too late.  
  
She came around a corner in a drift of blown leaves and early pedestrians, her tawny hair fluttering in the light breeze. Mayuko always dressed simply, and she wasn't exactly what you'd call a raving beauty, but her calm heart-shaped face and enormous eyes always stood out in any crowd. She slipped quietly through the beginning bustle of the morning, looking around her intently; her gaze swept the tangle of vendors, goods and people, looking for--- what? Something specific. Ushio knew what she was looking for, and he tried to slink backwards into the angle of two crates. She had *always* known when something was wrong, always, from their earliest days of childhood; how many tears of his had Mayuko soothed away? His tantrums and storms had simply slid off of her easy strength, the strength of a strong and gentle spirit. There had been moments when that spirit had stood her and her two friends in good stead, too, calming Ushio and Asako's wilder tempers when they flared (and, incidentally, keeping them from murdering each other). Always Mayuko had been there to help….. but he didn't think she could help him now.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
The *last* thing he wanted to do was to scare her. Ushio had no illusions about his appearance; hadn't he spent time in front of the mirror the night before reveling in his fearfulness? Tora was one thing, Tora was familiar--- but how could she see her friend in the terrible monster that he now was?  
  
And Tora, absolute idiot that he was, was *pacing forward towards her*; he wasn't exactly smiling (you wanted to worry if you saw him smiling), but his head was up. The two had a very peculiar relationship--- Ushio had never been quite able to figure it out. Mayuko had never seemed even remotely afraid of the huge bakemono, even when he had told her quite bluntly that he wanted to eat her (bringing about his current mania for hamburgers); that seemed, on the surface, to be frankly stupid and suicidal in the extreme….. but Tora seemed to actually *like* her. Maybe it was the novelty of the whole situation.  
  
Whatever. Right now Ushio was wishing really hard that he had learned that trick that Tora had of slipping through walls--- he needed *out* of here, immediately. His tail tucked, he cringed as far backwards into his corner as he could…. Oh God, she had seen the bakemono (she could always see him, no matter what) and was coming towards them. Ushio shrank back, black mane falling forward to cover his face.  
  
And this was what Mayuko saw: Tora, as big and fearful (though not to her) as life, calling out "Hai! Hamburger Girl! What are you about so early for?", while something dark and nearly as large crouched behind him, hiding its face like a frightened shadow. Her eyes widened as she took in the silver claws, the white lightning-mark on its forehead, the half-hidden golden eyes….. the Kemono No Yari knotted in its black, black mane like an oversized hairstick……  
  
To give her credit, she didn't jump to the obvious conclusion (that Tora had finally decided to have Ushio for breakfast, and had invited company); instead Mayuko slowly took a step forward, then another. Around her, passers-by went about their business, oblivious to the little tableau unfolding in their midst. Ushio stayed hunkered down but looked up at her through the blackness of his mane; she was staring at him, brow furrowed in concentration. For a moment she seemed to look right through him with her clear, ocean-gray eyes.  
  
"……. Ushio….?"  
  
He moaned; he couldn't help it. This was really, really bad--- Ushio could deal with everything so long as it was just him and Tora, at least for the moment (later…. He'd find out then), but someone else's reactions---- He felt a wave of shame and grief rush over him. It was just too much. Anger had made a good shield against the terror and loss so far, but if Mayuko was *afraid* of him….. Had he been able to back away any further, he would have; Ushio ducked his head low and closed his eyes in terror, unable to bear seeing her fear.  
  
Instead he felt a very light brush of fingers against his forelock, right where the white lightning slash made its jagged mark; it felt strange….. except for Tora, no-one had as yet touched his new form. Ushio slowly opened his eyes to stare up into his friend's face. She had gone rather white and her eyes were wide with shock; Tora watched the two of them for a moment and gave an exasperated grunt. "No hamburgers today" he muttered to himself resignedly. Then, glancing around at the growing market crowd, he said brusquely "Elsewhere, idiots. This isn't the place for talking." And he turned and stalked away towards the nearby shoreline like an affronted tiger, tail flicking. Slowly Ushio and Mayuko both followed, walking side by side; she glanced wonderingly at the black bakemono but he only looked away.  
  
A convenient bench in a copse of trees beyond the embankment provided a place out of view. Morning mist was beginning to clear from the river's surface by now and the rays of the sun sparkled off of the rippling water; Tora crouched among the weeds on the bank, an impatient expression on his striped face. The situation was obviously not to his liking. Ushio could practically see the thoughts passing through his mind: 'Humans! What a pain in the ass!' The former temple boy huddled on the dew-wet grass and tried to look as harmless as possible; Mayuko sank down on the bench and looked from monster to monster, waiting patiently for an explanation. When a long moment produced nothing more than the distant traffic noises and the lapping of water, she cleared her throat and looked inquiringly at Ushio.  
  
"Aotsuki….. That's not a good look for you." She cocked her head to the side, considering. "Who did you annoy this time? Some god or something?" The young woman sounded remarkably calm. Ushio sighed and looked down at the ground; Tora only snickered. "No…… Not this time. I got my ass kicked and nearly died; this was the only way to stay alive……."   
  
And there on the riverbank he told his friend the whole story.  
  
By the time he had finished, Ushio was up and pacing; Tora had seemingly dropped into a doze, silver eyes closed against the morning sunlight. "…… and I'm getting used to it, but it's still pretty weird. Everything is so different--- all my senses have changed a hell of a lot, and I don't know shit about how to understand half of what I smell or hear…… And I--- don't know what I'm going to do after this is all over. I can't exactly go back to school like this, or get a job, or….. well, do anything I would've done." He stopped pacing and looked down at where Mayuko still sat on the bench. Her face was still a little pale, but she didn't really look as horrified as he had expected. Ushio turned restlessly away to stare out over the river; the retelling of his battle, near-death and transformation had him wired and edgy, angry all over again. "Goddammit! I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on four feet--- Even being the Spearbearer forever would be better than this!" He glanced over at Tora. "It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that at least I'm still alive, I do--- but…. DAMmit!!!" He growled, and the soft rumble filled the clearing, dying away among the sounds of the river. Mayuko stared up at his fierce profile and her gray eyes filled with tears.   
  
Slowly his friend reached out a hand and touched him on the shoulder; Ushio started, turning his golden eyes to hers. "I'm sorry" she whispered. She started to draw her hand back--- and then hesitantly reached out to brush her fingers across the pale blaze on his chest. "Is that--- where the youkai hurt you? I can feel something wierd there, like static." Mayuko looked a little disturbed for a moment; she wasn't at all comfortable with her own peculiar abilities.  
  
He tucked his chin and glanced down at his white markings. "Yeah, that's where Tora….. did whatever he did." They both looked over at the unusually quiet bakemono; he sat in the sunlight light a great, feral Sphinx, eyes closed. Ushio sat down beside the bench; without thinking about it he flicked his tail around to lie across his claws, just like the cat he now resembled. Mayuko watched, bemused; then she reached down and touched one of his hands. "Let me see." He allowed her to lift it up, feeling the shift of tendon and muscle as she gingerly explored the shape of his new fingers; the retractable claws seemed to fascinate her as much as they did him. Ushio obligingly extended them; after a moment, she touched a single finger to a needle-point. "Ouch! Sharp…" and one red drop welled up on her fingertip.  
  
Human blood. Ushio shifted uncomfortably; this was the first time he had smelled it, and the scent evoked peculiar reactions from his senses. It was so warm, so salt-sweet and rich: even that tiny drop filled the air like perfume. It shone in the sunlight like a ruby, and he knew he was staring, and that she was watching him; with a shiver, Ushio dropped his eyes to the ground. A faint rustle to one side told him that Tora had also been watching.  
  
For a moment, Mayuko had not been sitting with two friends; she had instead been surrounded by predators. Quietly she wiped the blood away onto a fallen leaf.  
  
Trying to forget what had just happened, Ushio walked over to the river's edge to sit by Tora, who watched him narrowly from half-slit eyes. Behind him he could hear Mayuko; her breathing had speeded up a little and her scent had strengthened, a slight tang of what might be fear coloring it. "So…. How did you know something was wrong?" he asked, doing his best to ignore the way the blood sparkled on the fallen leaf.  
  
"Oh….. you know. I dreamed about it." Mayuko sighed. She had seen her friend's reaction--- but she didn't really want to think about it. Too scary. *This is Ushio* she reminded herself; *You've known him since he was little, he won't hurt you no matter what……. Even though this is a really big 'what'……*  
  
She started again. "I dreamed that you were in trouble; you had fallen into this really deep hole, and were standing at the bottom and calling for help. Tora was--- in another hole, I think? It's hard to tell in dreams." Mayuko smoothed her skirt down over her knees, concentrating. "I could see the Spear down there with you, but it was so dark….. All I could really tell was that you were down there. Oh--- and that you didn't have any clothes on. That was kind of weird….." Both bakemonotachi were eyeing her oddly; Ushio felt a rush of blood to his face, glad that monsters couldn't blush. Mayuko spread her hands and shrugged; "Don't ask me; that's what I dreamed." Now *she* was blushing. Tora simply shrugged and blinked sleepily.  
  
"I didn't really know what to expect this morning, so I came to find you; you know I always know if you or Asako are in trouble. By the way, does Asako---?" She looked at him inquiringly.  
  
"No. And I want to keep it that way." At Ushio's harsh tone, Mayuko looked startled; then she nodded, understanding. "You don't want her to see you like this…." The young woman frowned at the black bakemono; Tora opened one eye, then the other, and watched with interest. "You know, Atsuki, she's not an idiot or a coward. She'd know as well as I do that it was you, not some big, scary.…. Um. Well." Mayuko looked at Tora, who merely grinned, showing just the tips of his sharp teeth; humans could be so amusing.  
  
Ushio's tail flicked back and forth once or twice. "No. Mayuko, believe me--- this is hard enough!" He paused for a moment, claws digging into the dirt. "Whether or not I….. manage to survive this, I can't--- can't go back to what I was." He looked over at Tora, who stared back silently. "I haven't even asked, you see….. I can feel it in my, in my bones. This is….. permanent. Isn't it, Tora?"  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
The ancient bakemono turned his head to stare out over the river. "It is."  
  
The clearing was very quiet and still. Only the breeze moved, fluttering the leaves overhead, the girl's skirt, black fur, orange fur, tattered red silk streamers. Still looking out over the water, Tora spoke again. "You were remade by death, blood, power and lightning; it would take the same to remake you again..... only more of each. When one--- becomes a monster--- that is usually what one remains." A strange, bitter note sounded in his voice for a moment: remorse? regret?  
  
But Ushio would not ask--- he would not. This was one of the forbidden subjects. He *had* wondered, on occasion, if Tora had been, well...... something else, once upon a time. Something human. There were stories, old legends about people who became monsters....... But then, it was a little too ironic to be speculating on *that* subject, wasn't it? Especially for *him*?  
  
Oh, yes. It was. So he would not ask.  
  
Behind their clearing the noises of the vendors were beginning to rise as the morning progressed. Tora rose to his feet. He shook himself once, eyes closed, like a cat shaking off water or a monster shaking off bad dreams. Ushio looked away, wondering if someday that might be *him* trying to forget a human life, human hopes, human fears.   
  
Mayuko stood up and cleared her throat abruptly. "Ahhh... You were going to go after the water-youkai, weren't you? Did you have a plan?" She sounded rather desperate to change the subject; Ushio shot her a grateful glance. He sank to a crouch and pulled the Kemono No Yari loose from his mane to rest it on the ground before him. "Well, sort of. We're going to check the shoreline again, and then take a look at structures along the water--- boathouses, bridges, docks, that sort of thing." He dropped his head, sniffing at a half-crushed plant under his claws; the sharp, clean scent cleared his head. At a light touch on his back he looked up; Mayuko had stepped closer and was staring at him intently. Drawing a deep breath, she spoke: "I want to go h-hunting with you."  
  
The fur on the back of Ushio's neck stood straight up. He had NOT heard that, no way; he just shook his head. Impossible, too impossible to even reply to. Mayuko wasn't anything like a hunter, she----  
  
But he heard Tora rumble in a contemplative tone: "Hrrrrrrmmmmhhhrrrrr. Not a bad idea. That damned foreigner seems to be good at hiding her scent, and you can see what we cannot. You'd make tasty bait, too. But she might eat you............" Ushio stared at Tora in shock; the orange monster was eyeing Mayuko speculatively. "Be afraid, Hamburger Girl. You should be. If she tears you up I don't know if I can make *you* into a bakemono too, though you might make the Brat a good mate….." Tora trailed off, laughing softly; Mayuko coughed.   
  
Furiously Ushio growled: "TORAahhhhhhhrrrrrrrrr!!!…… Are you CRAZY? She can't go with us, she'll get shredded! We *can't* use her as bait--- look what happened to ME when we tried that, you shithead!!" He gripped the Spear in his claws, shaking the point in the monster's face, who flinched back with a snarl.  
  
"And why not? There's two of us now--- and even though you're slow and clumsy---" Tora ducked a blow from a set of silver claws "---we should be able to keep her alive." The orange bakemono hissed at the black one. "Idiot, idiot! You were so worried about more humans being eaten--- If the Hamburger Girl wants to take a risk, let her!" he spat, baring his teeth. A faint crackle of lightning flickered around his brow, barely visible in the morning sunlight. Mayuko flinched but held her ground, looking from one monster to the other.  
  
Ushio's tale lashed as he growled again. He started to reply (something about Tora being dropped on his head when he was little), but a hand clenched in the fur on the back of his neck brought him up short. He jerked his head around to stare at Mayuko, his teeth still slightly bared; her eyes widened, but she stood fast.  
  
"Ushio, he's right--- I can be of help. A trap is better than just, just looking around at random--- and besides……" she stopped for a moment and swallowed. "--- Now that you've told me about her eating *kids*, do you think I could just go home and forget about it?" Mayuko's grey eyes darkened at the thought. "I played along the riverbanks here with you when we were kids--- it could've gotten us!" *It DID get me* thought Ushio sadly, but said nothing…. The young woman continued: "And you don't want me telling Asako, do you? You know what she'll want to do--- She'll want to hunt for this thing herself! That'll mean *two* of us for you to worry about!" Mayuko stamped one foot in emphasis.  
  
Ushio pulled angrily away, leaving several long black hairs in Mayuko's hand; stiff-legged, he stalked over to a nearby tree and aimed a frustrated blow at the trunk: Thwack! His silver claws dug deep furrows in the bark, showering leaves down onto his head. "Fine! But if you get killed, it'll be your own fault…… No." He rubbed at his forehead with a black-furred hand, attempting to calm a little; this was making his head ache. "Screw that. If you get killed….. I couldn't stand that. I couldn't." Ushio closed his eyes, shaking a little. He could hear Tora shift impatiently among the weeds behind him.   
  
Then he felt two gentle hands cup along either side of his jaw and looked up straight into Mayuko's eyes; she was pale, her usually gentle face fierce and determined. "Then you'll just have to make sure I don't, Ushio-kun" she said quietly, the childhood name recalling a simpler time. There was a moment when no-one said anything. Then Ushio drew a long, deep breath, nodding slowly; agreement seemed to be his only option. Visions of Asako and Mayuko being ripped apart by a slimy green youkai filled his mind's eye, and *anything* was better than that.  
  
Behind him he heard Tora mutter "Good. Too much time wasted already--- Let's go."  
  
Mayuko looked down at the long strands of black mane in her hand; she coiled them up around a bit of stick and slipped them in her pocket. Now that her battle had been won, she looked a little uncertain. "Uhm, alright. Where shall we start?"   
  
Tora stood and stretched, long, long amber claws ripping and gouging the soft ground. The ancient bakemono turned to grin at his two companions; his white, white teeth glittered like knives in the sunlight. "You wanted a plan? I have one!" Still grinning, he continued: "A good one, too. I thought of it earlier; we'll need a rope. Follow me." And, laughing at their expressions, the monster turned and bounded down the shoreline towards the distant bridge.  
  
End of Chapter 4 of 5 


	5. The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch...

Ushio & Tora: The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch  
By Ysabet  
Chapter 5 of 6 ***** See the end of this chapter for an update*****  
  
  
"No" said Ushio firmly for what seemed like the hundredth time. "We're not doing THAT either." He was losing patience fast. In exasperation he crossed his black-furred arms and glared up at Tora from where he sat leaning against a steel girder. The former temple boy could feel a growl rumbling in the back of his throat; beside him, Mayuko breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Bakemonotachi and human girl sat on a rusty steel beam in the dark, echoing space below the bridge. Overhead, cars rumbled and thudded their noisy passages over the steel-and-asphalt arch; the stench of their exhaust was nearly overwhelming to the two monsters' sensitive noses.  
  
Tora grumbled. "When you hunt for fish, you use bait to bring them to you. What the hell is wrong with my idea?" Clearly he wasn't ready to let go of what seemed to him a good solution to their problems. "We just tie a rope around the Hamburger Girl and dangle her over the water; when the water-youkai grabs her, we yank them both up and….." He licked his chops and grinned. It was easy to see that Tora was quite enamored of his own cleverness, and that, to him, there was nothing wrong with using poor Mayuko as a sort of glorified worm on a hook.  
  
Sometimes he made Ushio's head hurt without even hitting it. This was one of those times.  
  
The day was wearing away towards the afternoon; already the sun cast pooled shadows of late mid-day on the water below them. Water-birds wheeled past, curving their wings to the wind that blew Ushio's black mane across his face in a curtain of darkness; he pushed it aside, taking a deep breath. The scents of the river were sweet in his throat for a moment; then a gust of fumes from a passing truck made his lips draw back in distaste.  
  
The three of them had been up and down this stretch of the river several times already, following the faintest of scents (which, to his delight, Tora had located; to Ushio it was merely a rather repulsive lizardish-fishy-rot smell, with unpleasant overtones of old blood. He had shuddered, wondering if it might be his). So far they had had no luck, but it was a fairly large area, not even counting the water itself.  
  
Tora reached down from where he perched on a convenient beam and rapped his knuckles against Ushio's head; "Pay attention, Stupid. Do you want to catch this thing or not? *I* do; I owe it pain…." he trailed off. "I wonder what it tastes like? Fish? I like fish." The bakemono drew a single claw delicately across the rusty metal beside him, making a thin skrrreeeeek!; he had been carefully drawing something quite scatological on the flat surface. After a single glance, Mayuko and Ushio had both avoided looking again on general principals. Ancient monsters had such…. unusual ideas of what was funny.  
  
Beside him, Mayuko shifted sideways on the beam as she tried to find a comfortable position. She sighed and leaned back against the cold metal; the young woman was damp, tired and chilled but still determined to see this through. Mayuko glanced sidelong at her friend; Aotsuki's profile was stark against the blue sky, fierce and terrible. The eyes, though, while shaped very differently, were somehow still her friend Ushio-kun's….. They reflected the sunlight back threefold there in the darkness below the bridge, molten gold.  
  
In the relative silence of the moment, she picked off a flaking bit of rust the size of her palm and tossed it down into the waves below. Three pairs of eyes watched the splash: Silver, golden, blue-gray. She tossed another; before it could hit the water, a flick of Ushio's wrist brought the point of the Spear flashing down to intercept it. With a tiny 'plink!' it scattered into shards of rust, floating down to dust the waves below. Another flake, tossed down a moment later, was shattered into red dust by the controlled flick of a burnt-orange tail.  
  
Time was dragging; the longer they waited, the greater chance that some other kid would be dragged to a terrible death in the river. Ushio sat thinking hard, unconsciously braiding and unbraiding a handful of his mane; he noticed absently that the strands were a little thicker and stiffer than human hair, almost like an animal's whiskers in breadth. "So we've covered the docks, boathouses, waterfront parks, bridges, rich people's gardens and just about everything else along where you caught the scent, right?" He ticked each item off on a silver-clawed finger. Tora just grunted. Mayuko sighed. "Well, what's left? We can't exactly go searching in the river itself….." The very thought made him shiver--- Ushio found that he was developing an absolute aversion to water. *Go figure,* he thought wryly.  
  
Tora yawned widely, stretching his length across the beam; afternoon sunlight reflected off of each white tooth. "Hhrrrrrrrmm. We've looked with our eyes, ears and noses--- what about you, Hamburger Girl? What can you do?" There was a pause as Mayuko looked off into the distance, frowning. "I….. I'm not sure. I've tried to feel if there's any difference along the shore, any place that feels, well, *bad*, and there isn't. Or I can't feel it. Maybe the youkai lives somewhere else and just hunts here?" She leaned back against the beam and grimaced as she rubbed a bruise on her knee. Keeping up with the two bakemonotachi had taken a toll on her skin.  
  
There was silence for a moment while all three considered. Ushio scowled down at the gentle waves below; he could see his entire body's reflection there for the first time since his change, and he wasn't pleased. His gaze traveled across the black expanse of fur, from the shock of black, black mane to the clawed hind feet and lazily twitching tail.  
  
For the first time, he allowed himself to think about the fact that he was sitting there *naked* as the day he was born. Right in front of Mayuko and everything.  
  
Ushio's face burned beneath his fur; he hastily crossed his legs and pulled some of his mane across his lap. Neither of his two companions seemed to notice. He wondered for a moment if he should be insulted, then shifted his thoughts back to the subject of the water-youkai with a nearly-audible snap.  
  
"You know, I wonder if we're going about this the wrong way……" said Mayuko slowly. Both bakemonotachi looked at her inquiringly. "I mean, this monster-woman, you said that she eats kids?" Tora grunted an affirmative and flicked a piece of rust out into the air to ping off a passing gull; it squawked, recovered, and flew away a little faster. "If I was a water-monster, I wouldn't hunt in public places; I'd look in places where kids liked to play away from adults. You know, the kinds of spots you find when you're a child- bits of land that get fenced off and forgotten, the sort that gets overgrown and is too small or inconvenient to be built on, alleyways, scraps of woods, that kind of thing. Ushio, you said that you were attacked down by the escarpment, and that fits, doesn't it?"  
  
The former temple boy nodded. "Yeah-I've been going there to think since I was pretty little. It's not very big, and it's sort of a little pocket that just got left alone; I see what you mean." He turned to Tora, who was looking puzzled. "When you're a kid, you tend to want some place to play where the grownups won't bug you, so you find places that other people sort of threw away: vacant lots, the back-ends of property, tiny little places that can become a kid's kingdom." Tora shrugged; to him, property was a difficult concept at best. It wasn't important in his world at all.  
  
But the amber monster fixed his silver eyes on Ushio's. "Interesting. Young bakemono do much the same thing, in practice of defining their territories. I wonder if human children ever meet with bakemono young in such cases? I wonder what happens?" He laughed softly to himself, eyes half-closed. Ushio grimaced; he could imagine the outcome pretty easily. *Human Child du Jour* he thought unhappily. What if he had met up with a monster-child in any of the places where he used to play, by the escarpment or behind his school or at the canals-----!!!  
  
The Spearbearer nearly lost his balance; Mayuko grabbed at his arm in a rather futile attempt to keep Ushio from falling ignominiously into the river. "The canals! I used to play there when I was a kid, and I'll bet kids still do." Excited, he turned to Mayuko. "You remember, those little canals that run back of the airport? They're all tall water-reeds and bushes, totally deserted- nobody even fishes back there since the water's brackish and there aren't many fish." She nodded, pushing her hair back from her eyes. "Perfect!" she exclaimed, her tired face lighting up. "It's got all the elements: water….. solitude….. good hiding places….."  
  
"….. food…." interjected Tora calmly. There was an uneasy pause.  
  
"Uhhhrrrm. Right. Let's get going." Ushio rose to all fours on the beam, reaching down a hand to help Mayuko up. It was good to be doing something other than just searching aimlessly; he could almost forget his current state….. unless he looked down at his reflection in the water again.  
  
"Wait. Ushio-Brat. There is something you need to learn."  
  
The black bakemono looked back over his shoulder as he carefully began to climb down the rusty metal. Tora was simply crouching there, feet tucked beneath him, watching him. "What?"  
  
"THIS!" A striped hand grabbed him swiftly by one shoulder, whipped him around and yanked him off into the air; Ushio yelped in surprise and flailed about as they both plummeted the few feet towards the water…….  
  
….. only to be borne upwards in a long, smooth arc as Tora passed from falling into flight. They drifted to a halt a little further along beneath the bridge; still struggling, Ushio snarled loudly and resisted an urge to bite Tora's hand. "What the FUCK do you think you're doing?!?" he shouted, gripping the Spear tightly in one hand and a fistful of Tora's mane in the other.  
  
"Teaching you to fly, idiot. I'm tired of walking. Pay attention." The ancient bakemono began a long, slow glide above the water, keeping between the pilings of the bridge.  
  
"Uhhhhhhh….." Ushio's jaw dropped; he was more than a little stunned. "….. I- Tora, I'm not sure about this….. I'm not sure I can learn this one……" Learning how to move in his new body: fine. Learning how to fly? He couldn't even tell how *Tora* managed it!  
  
But the orange monster only snorted, still holding Ushio by the shoulder. "You had *better* learn. I'm not carrying you back to the shore. It's time you learned flight if you are to be bakemono. You'll fight better." He chuckled nastily. "Besides, it scares the shit out of your enemy when you swoop down on them!" Ushio swallowed and looked down at the wet, wet river. Maybe he *could* learn this…..  
  
"Now. Try to feel what I am doing. I reach out--- so--- "……. And Tora did *something* indescribable, something that Ushio could not see, but could …..perceive….. It was rather like feeling the sunlight on your skin, or the change of pressure in your ears when you traveled upwards in elevation, or the weight of a breath of fog: there, definitely there, but difficult to pin down. Tora was grasping and manipulating some mechanism, some element of natural (or supernatural) law that took his weight from his mass, allowing him to move freely and at will.  
  
And Ushio *could* feel it.  
  
Could he….. do it too? Tentatively he reached out with something, some part of him that he hadn't been aware of before (no, that wasn't quite right; there had been many times when the Spear had borne its bearer through space in the heat of battle, and Ushio had felt this then…..) Ushio could actually FEEL it, an invisible, shapeless something, could just touch it--- like brushing your hand over a cobweb, or the edges of a flame (*careful, careful, you'll break it/burn yourself* he thought). It had….. structure; as they drifted above the water, he could almost grasp it, could almost catch it and----- and what??? Panicked, he realized that he had no idea.  
  
The black bakemono wavered in his partner's grasp; for a moment there, Tora had almost let him go. Ushio gripped his handful of mane tighter.  
  
Tora growled, but the sound was more of exasperation than anger. "Listen. Don't *ask* the power….. eat it, drink it in. Make it yours. It will bear you up if you consume it." He waved one hand expansively; Ushio would swear that he was enjoying this.  
  
*'Eat it, drink it in'…. just the kind of advice you'd expect from a bakemono.* thought the Spearbearer with a certain exasperation. Well, why the hell not? It couldn't hurt to try---  
  
Taking a deep breath, Ushio closed his eyes and reached out again for that intangible something, like a man grasping at smoke, like a bakemono reaching for magic….. He found it; handling it was like carrying a soap bubble in your fingers. Carefully he drew it to himself, into his Self, drank it in-----  
  
----- felt it inside him, like a muscle he had never noticed before; gingerly he adjusted it, tensed this and relaxed that, stretched inside to allow the strange new part of himself room.  
  
*And found himself hovering six feet or so above the water.* Even a flailing handful of panicked claws didn't keep him from splashing half-under the river's surface this time, before a cursing Tora yanked an equally-swearing Ushio back airborne.  
  
Drenched and dripping, he tried again. And again. And again. And again….. The day shaded into afternoon, but the Spearbearer never noticed.  
  
And each time he tried, Ushio could feel the strange new part of him becoming a little more at home, a little more at ease. A little more natural. Later, when he had time to think about it, this would scare him more than nearly anything else.  
  
But slowly, falteringly, he learned to fly.  
*********************************************  
  
The two bakemono coasted to a halt and hovered like twin ghosts beneath the bridge a few feet from where Mayuko stood watching, her eyes as big as saucers. "Ushio-kun……" she breathed; the Spearbearer dropped his jaw in a silent laugh that displayed every sharp tooth. The young woman sank down to sit against a beam with a thud. "You're--- flying."  
  
"Yeah….. I know. It's great, it's....just *great*….." He couldn't stop grinning anymore than she could stop staring. Ushio felt a little dizzy from elation and the rush of adrenaline; beside him, Tora rumbled softly, very pleased with himself.  
  
"Not bad, Brat. You learned that quickly enough. Now we can travel faster." The orange monster poked Ushio in the shoulder with a sharp claw. "Ready to hunt?" His silver eyes flashed in anticipation and he smiled like a whole ocean full of sharks.  
  
Ushio drew a deep breath and looked down at the waves moving below him. Their reflections hung like night and day in the calm wavelets, amber-gold and onyx. He looked up; Mayuko was watching him intently. "Ready?"  
  
She took a deep breath. "Yes…… Uhmm, Ushio-kun? I've seen you riding on Tora's back before---" (Tora curled a lip back and muttered "…he doesn't ride me, I just don't throw him off. I *allow* him to hold on!")  
  
"----- uhm, sorry, Tora----- and I was wondering: Should I, ah, ride on your back? Or on Tora's?" She tilted her head to one side inquiringly.  
  
Ushio hesitated; bobbing up and down in the air was one thing. Carrying a passenger, though----- he looked at Tora. The other bakemono had alighted next to the 'monster graffiti' that he had been drawing earlier and was carefully signing his name in elegantly-drawn kanji clawmarks (interestingly enough, he was writing 'Tora', not 'Nagatobimaru'). Huh. Ushio hadn't even known he could write. The ancient monster glanced up from his 'art' with a sly grin. "Think you can do it, whelp? Just don't go too high….." Ushio blanched, picturing a combined splash of Mayuko and black bakemono decorating the landscape. *Maybe if we keep low…..*  
  
He landed gently next to his friend on the rusty beam, feeling weight return to his limbs the moment he touched solid metal. How strange, to suddenly feel *heavy* and to recall that weight and mass were usually part of the same thing--- not to have control over your position in space! For a moment, the Spearbearer's thoughts ran along this line; then he laughed softly and shook off his distraction, grinning up at the young woman. "You ready, Mayuko-kun?" He slipped the Spear back into its place in his mane.  
  
Mayuko looked down into her friend's face; she wondered if he had any idea how fierce he looked in that moment, golden pupil-less eyes shining with elation and anticipation, all the fire of the sun gathered there. Black as night, the tiny white slashes crossing his limbs like threads of silk; the lightning-mark on his forehead gleamed palely against his darkness. Smiling up at her. Mayuko was certain that he was trying to look reassuring, but the tips of the many, many sharp teeth that she could just barely see were not all that reassuring.  
  
But this was Ushio-kun….. The young woman tucked her tawny hair back behind her ears and glanced over towards Tora. The *other* bakemono----- she had to remember that. There was more than one here now. He was watching with interest as she eased herself down onto Ushio's broad back, gripping the black mane tightly. Ushio grunted as she positioned herself a little below his shoulders. "…. Hang on….. don't pull so hard….. here, move up a little….. don't try to sit, lay forward….. Ow! Don't dig your heels in, Mayuko, I'm not a horse!"   
  
She shifted a little to one side, her hands sunk deep into Ushio's black mane. How strange…… "Sorry; I've never ridden anything but a bicycle. Ahh, are you SURE you can….. fly….. with me on your back?"  
  
He grinned over his shoulder at her. "No. But let's try it anyway!" An odd exhilaration was filling him; he felt better than he had since his change….. elated for no real reason. Everything around Ushio was sharply in focus, bright and clear, and it was all interesting: scents, sounds, the light, the water, his companions. Still looking back at an apprehensive Mayuko, he wondered: did Tora ever feel like this, his heart pounding to the moment?   
  
Ushio reached out into that moment, grasping at the new thing that had borne him up; heart in his throat, he stepped off the beam.  
  
For a moment, the two fell in a curving drop towards the water; then (*dammit Ushio, concentrate! concentrate! do-it-do-it-do-it-DO-IT-DO-IT-DO-IT-NOW!*) they swung across the water towards the shore in a fast, wave-tipping sweep of black fur and wind. Laughing inwardly, Ushio could hear Mayuko's squeak of terror and feel her grip his mane like her life depended on it. A little behind him, he could also hear Tora yelling something--- but it was too hard to make it out. Pulse pounding in his ears, mane whipping all over the place, he could see his shadow shooting across the broken, watery mirror below him, keeping pace with his flight. On his back his passenger flattened herself against his body; Ushio could feel Mayuko's heart beating, beating, even faster than his own. Was she yelling something? And what was it that Tora was shouting? They were still scorching across the waves, heading down the river towards the shoreline where he recalled the old canals beginning; what was the problem? His inner laughter bubbled over, became a low rumble deep in his chest.  
  
WHAT was Tora yelling? His voice was closer now; never mind, Ushio could ask him later...... this was too much fun.  
  
Fun?  
  
Ushio looked down at his shadow again…… Black beast, golden-eyed, claws outstretched and mane streaming behind like a shadowy comet…….   
  
***Reality splashed over him like ice-cold water; he was a monster, and he was having *fun* being a monster?!?*** Humans don't fly! Humans don't wear fur and fangs and claws! How could he be ENJOYING this?!? Ushio staggered in his flight, stumbling over thin air; only the terrified grip at his shoulders kept him from crashing into the water below-----  
  
….. and Tora passed overhead like a hurricane, the rush of his passage whipping black mane and tawny human hair into a storm. "GO UNSEEN, YOU IDIOTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!" he howled, teeth bared.  
  
Uh-oh…………….  
**********************************************  
  
By the time Ushio touched gently down onto the grassy shore, he was no longer visible (an oddly easy thing to do, if you didn't forget about it; no-one really wanted to *see* anything like a bakemono, so turning human sight aside was almost second nature). Embarrassed, shaken, but no longer visible. Tora was waiting on the bank, cursing under his breath in a stream of invective that withered the grass off the banks. Ushio hung his head; the excitement and exhilaration of his first real flight had driven pretty much all intelligent thought from his mind, and he knew it. Doubtless the sight of a flying black creature near the bridge had caused a few car wrecks among its burden of vehicles; he just hoped that no-one had been hurt.  
  
Mayuko started to slide off, but a wave of Tora's huge hand kept her where she was. The amber bakemono caught Ushio by a fistful of black mane and pulled him face to face. "Ass!!" he shouted, silver eyes burning furiously; "Do that again and we'll have humans all over the place!!! Do you want to know what it's like to be hunted?!?" He yanked sideways; Ushio snarled loudly and swatted his hand away. "I've BEEN hunted before, remember?!? By bakemonotachi, by youkai, by all sorts of things! I just--- got carried away!........" The Spearbearer glared at his partner, who only stared back coolly, eyes slitted. But after a few moments, the great striped face began to twitch suspiciously; gradually Tora began to grin, and then to laugh deeply, roughly. Still chuckling, he turned to leap back into low flight; "Follow…." was all the ancient bakemono said. As Ushio sprang carefully up into the air, he glanced over his shoulder at Mayuko. "You OK? Sorry about that….." He took a deep breath. "It was.... I don't know." The Spearbearer glanced down at himself. "Sometimes this new body, the things it can do, they just kind of--- take over, you know?"  
  
His friend brushed her tangled hair back and tried to smile. "I'm fine; I just didn't expect you to go so fast. It was like riding a wild animal….. Sort of fun, though." She looked off towards the passing landscape; the ground below was growing marshy and wet. They had landed beside a deep, swift-running channel that split from the main river and (as Ushio recalled) eventually wandered into the series of brackish canals that were their goal.  
  
As they drifted above the weeds and underbrush, Ushio could see Tora questing ahead for a scent. He sighed; Mayuko's words began to hit home........"like riding a wild animal." Shit, yeah; that was *exactly* what he had been doing since he had changed: riding a wild animal. Only the animal was himself..... Aotsuki Ushio, melted down and poured into a different mold, one with all the attributes of a beast.  
  
And he WAS enjoying it..... now, anyway.  
  
Wasn't that wrong?  
  
The black bakemono blinked his eyes against the late sun as he slowely soared over a thread of a stream. *After all,* he reflected, *who doesn't want to be a beast sometimes? Who hasn't ever wanted to throw away the rules, civilization, just be as wild as impulse wants us to be? We tame our selves; we rule ourselves.* Ushio's heart twisted in pain; it was hard to admit (even to himself) how attractive the idea of losing control really was. *I get to be a lot, well, fiercer than most people ever have the chance to be--- I fight, I even kill; the Spear..... requires it. But this, this..... Why can't I hate it like I did when I first changed?!?*  
  
He stretched his foreclaws out before him; the ground had grown more sodden and marshier below them, tall weeds bending in the afternoon breeze. That same breeze caressed his face, sending tendrils of black hair across his vision. A single silver talon combed them back. *Animals, now--- they have an excuse for their actions: no conscience, no morals, no worries. But I'm like that guy Hyou said, the 'animal that is not an animal.' Bakemonotachi can choose what they do, or at least ones like.... we..... can. We. I'm going to be like this the rest of my life.* It finally hit home.  
  
*The rest of my life.*  
  
On his back Mayuko shifted; she slid one hand down onto his forehead, a little beyond where the lightning-mark ended just above his eyes. "Ushio-kun, what's wrong? You feel..... unhappy. Are you worrying about the river-youkai?" He could smell the faint tang of fear in her scent. It was--- disturbing. Oddly attractive.  
  
"No..... about myself. Mayuko..... It's harder and harder to stay my old self now, to keep remembering that this--- is *wrong*, that I shouldn't be a bakemono. If it felt bad to be this way, it would be easier." Ushio looked down at his own hands, extending and retracting his silver talons; he could feel a faint trembling beginning in his limbs. "But it doesn't feel bad; it feels..... good. This body feels good, flying feels, hell, just amazing!" He took a deep breath and blurted it out: "I keep worrying that I'm going to forget what it was like to be human. How long will I remember when everything about being a, a bakemono, feels so overwhelming? Mayuko, if you only knew....." He stopped and took another deep breath. "If you could only feel things like I do now; all the scents, all the sounds..... When the Spear takes over, I feel something like this, I'm a predator then too; but that stops sooner or later. Now, though..... If I forget how it was to be human, how will I remember to how to stay Ushio?" His question was a cry of pain.  
  
Her hand reached down to gently touch him at the termination of the lightning slash; she smoothed the fur there. "You will remember because your friends will remind you. We will always remind you, and *we* will always remember who you really are..... no matter what shape you wear, or what you become."  
  
The Spearbearer sighed again. "Yeah. I know..... Thanks." They were both silent for a few moments; then Ushio growled low in his throat. "Man, I *really* don't look forward to telling Asako about this." He shuddered at the thought.  
  
Mayuko started to answer, then stopped abruptly; he could feel both her fists clench hard in the fur at his neck. "Mayuko? What's wrong?"  
  
She began to shiver. "I don't, I don't know--- do we have to go any further? This place feels..... sick."  
  
They were still gliding along the channel; it had begun to separate off into the small canals Ushio remembered from his childhood. Here and there he could see faint tracks worn into the grasslands by animals and, possibly, human children. He sniffed; yeah, definitely human scents here. Tora had stopped a little ways ahead and was hanging in the air, head thrown back as he drank in the breeze. His partner also slowed, drawing a deep breath.  
  
*Let's see..... Dead fish... crushed plants of some sort... more fish or something fishy... mud, more plants... salt... salt? No, that's sweat or something else, something rank... sort of sweet, and familiar... where did I smell that, sometime today?*  
  
*Oh yeah, behind the park, when Mayuko pricked her finger on my claw: blood...........*  
  
Blood. Human blood. But not new; no, this was old-smelling, sour. Ushio could tell that much; it had a carrion quality to it. And there was something more, a reek of--- what? Decay? *Mayuko was right, there's something sick about this place.....* The Spearbearer alighted gently on a fairly solid-looking bit of ground; the mud squished between his toes and fingers. Mayuko started to slip off, but he gestured silently for her to stay where she was. "Tora? What do you smell? I'm too new at this to really tell....." He could feel his passenger's heart beating hard against his back; she crouched down as if to hide in his shock of black mane, pulling it close about her for comfort.  
  
Tora shook his head until his ears flapped. "Hrrrhhrrrr. It's here, somewhere. I smell it, but it's *very* good at hiding its scent. I think maybe it rubs itself with some plant or something." He stepped from the air to the ground as if descending a staircase. "Somewhere near.......... and I think perhaps it has a larder here, too." His claws clenched in the mud and wiry grass. "Ssssssss. It stinks..... This is an eater of dead meat as well as of live." He began to pace up the bank towards a copse of willows, his lips drawn back in distaste.   
  
"Near...... Ah. Here's the larder. Feh!" The striped face grimaced in disgust.  
  
Ushio slowly moved up to peer around Tora's body----- and jerked back, revolted at the stench. Decay, horrible and unmistakable; even Mayuko coughed and covered her nose and mouth with a hand. But the scent wasn't the worst of it; beyond the other bakemono he could see.... what? It was like a nest, sort of. Bleached branches lay in a jumble, with tags and rags of color threaded through; and from the trees around, other strips of color. What in the world.....?  
  
And then the Spearbearer's eyes made sense of what he was seeing, and the full horror of it hit him. Those weren't branches. They were bones. And the bits of color were shredded cloth..... shredded clothing. They were tied onto the trees and bones like ribbons, a monster's insane artwork. A faint buzzing sounded from the ground around the nest as marsh flies arose disturbed from dark stains on the damp soil.  
  
Ushio staggered back a step, sickened and unwilling to see anymore. One foot stepped on something other than marshy ground; he looked down. Apparently the water-youkai wasn't the best of housekeepers--- it had missed a piece of cloth. *You know,* he thought, staring down, *that almost looks like the sleeve of a kid's shirt, only it's not flat, it's got something inside it-----*  
  
-----Ushio jerked back blindly, a hissing growl that he had never made before rising from deep within his throat. On his back, Mayuko was muttering something to herself that sounded rather like a prayer. She hung on tightly, and he welcomed her warmth across his back.  
  
Only Tora seemed unmoved. He had turned in his steps to watch his two companions, silver eyes impassive. Now he sat stone-still on the stained ground, staring at Ushio.....  
  
No, staring *past* Ushio..... And on the Spearbearer's back, the Kemono No Yari began to ring softly, softly.....  
  
************************************  
End of Chapter 5 of 6  
(So it'll be 6 chapters instead of 5; so sue me, already!!!..... Ysabet)  
  
****************** UPDATE, AS OF 6/26/01----- If you'd like to see a truely BEAUTIFUL piece of fanart based on this story by Suzanna Gertruida (I hope I spelled that right!), please go to this link (provided by my very, very generous friend Becky Tailweaver, who writes INCREDIBLE STUFF): http://tailweaver.faithweb.com/utfanart.jpg  
Gotta tell ya, I was blown away by this picture; the detail is incredible.....  



	6. 

The Jaws That Bite, the Claws That Catch  
Chapter VI of VI  
By Ysabet  
  
  
Imagine a bell made of iron ringing inside spheres of fractured crystal; imagine that tone shivering its way up through flesh and bone, through the living lightning-storm of nerve and synapse. Imagine the Kemono No Yari calling to its bearer.  
  
The wind whispered across the marsh grass, rippling the brackish water of the canals; every bird was silent--- no other sound broke the quiet that had settled over the afternoon landscape but the scrape of reed against reed.  
  
Except one: If you listened carefully, you could hear the faint sound of flies buzzing on the stained earth behind two bakemonotachi and one human woman.  
  
Ushio stood rooted to the spot; Tora was staring past him with teeth ever-so-slightly bared, sharp tips showing. His silver eyes narrowed against the westering sun and his tail twitched in quick, nervous flicks; however, when he spoke, the monster's tone was at its most casual.  
  
"Ahhhhhhrrrrrrrr......... we arrived to find the mistress of the house gone. Should we come back some other time, then?"  
  
Ushio turned slowly, slowly in place; behind him, no more than eight or nine meters away, crouched the water youkai in a stand of reeds. If possible, she was uglier than he remembered her to be: unselfconsciously naked, slimy green-white, her withered dugs hanging like empty leather sacks against her skinny ribs. One eyelid was shrunken in her pallid face but the other eye shone like a baleful moon deep in its socket. She brought long talons up to comb through the wet tendrils of her scraggly hair, smiling and displaying a disturbing number of needle-like yellowed teeth; the motion drew the Spearbearer's eyes.  
  
Those talons had killed his human self. Or very nearly.  
  
And now that he got a better look at them, he could see why. They hooked back onto themselves, like edged fish-hooks or jointing knives. No wonder they had torn-------- *Oh, God........*  
  
He could feel Mayuko flattening herself against his back as instinct took over, the instinct of prey confronted with a predator. His own instincts were a little confused; after all, he had *been* prey, but now..... The water-youkai's scent, though; that wasn't confusing at all: blood and fishscales, cold water and carrion--- it made the Spearbearer's lips draw back, made his own talons twitch and curl inwards to press against his black palms untile the blood ran.  
  
She answered Tora then, and her voice was cold and hissing. "Sssssooooo..... At lassst sssome of the localsss have deigned to visssit. Sssshould I have provided refressshhments, Creature? Or have you brought your own? How very nicssssssse." She laughed, single eye flashing cold; if a snake could laugh, thought Ushio, it would sound like that. Her words were oddly accented, all loose and liquid with rolling consonants and slurred vowels.  
  
Mayuko was shaking; Ushio could hardly blame her. He could feel a tremor arising from deep within his own body as well, but not from fear, not really. It had something to do with the faint red mist that was slowly ghosting across his vision, something to do with the way his fur was beginning to bristle and how his heart was beginning to pound.....  
  
Tora moved up, stepping carefully on the bloodstained mud to stand (rather casually) beside Ushio. "Ahhhh, no, this one is not for eating. Not today, anyway. She is something of a pet for myself and my kin. Useful; humans can be that way on occasion." He spoke calmly, indeed courteously for Tora. *Kin?..... I guess he means me* thought Ushio grimly, turning a little to one side so that Mayuko was behind both of their backs. She cautiously slid down to rest her feet on the mud, still gripping Ushio's black mane tightly for comfort.  
  
"A..... *pet*? The water-youkai said the word curiously and without much comprehension. She stepped from the brackish water to the shore, dragging something limp behind her.  
  
A child.  
  
And either unconscious or dead. A little boy, perhaps eight years old or so from what Ushio could see. His black hair hung dripping and disheveled over a pale, scratched face and his clothes were torn and muddy. One hand lay outstretched pathetically beside his attacker's feet, fingers curled. *Ohhhh.... shit....*  
  
It could've been any little boy, he thought numbly; it could've been him.  
  
The river-hag dropped her toy to the mud and stepped a little closer, eyeing what she could see of Mayuko speculatively with her one good eye. "I have eaten young maidensss before, but thisssss" and she waved towards the still form at her feet "is my chosssen food. But I have never been ssso delicate that I would turn down sssuch an offering." She chuckled thinly; the sound was enough to make Ushio's teeth clench...... Ohhhh, *how* he ached to sink those teeth into her! Human reason seemed very far away right now--- and he found that he really didn't care, hell no, not at all. Not if he could just reach her with his teeth..... and his claws.....  
  
Tora edged a little closer; now his shoulder brushed against the Spearbearer's. "Ahhhr. An interesting choice of words..... 'an offering.' Are you a goddess or a demon, to have been given offerings in the past?" His eyes narrowed a little; Tora seemed to be thinking hard.  
  
The hag grinned at them, a death's-head grin full of needles. "And how persssceptive you are, Creature! Yesssss..... Oncssse upon a time I wasss called a goddesssss...... and humansssss fed me my chosssen meat! They threw fat animalssss and tender children to me in my river, back in old Eire where I lived then. But... the river isss foul now, too foul even for me; ssso I have traveled about. I have hunted for a sssuitable territory for myssself." She waved a handful of knives towards the canals. "Thissssss placssssse..... It will do."  
  
"Or--- do you have a *difficulty* with that, Creature?" And she hissed long and low between sharp teeth, still smiling.  
  
Tora simply looked at her; but Ushio could feel him beginning to crouch a little lower, feel the great body beginning to coil and tense where it brushed against his. Again, though, when he spoke his voice was mild. "Of territory there is plenty in this land; the humans no longer think such as we real anymore--- would you believe it? Hhhrrrrrhh, but bakemonotachi here are not..... fond of sharing territory with others. You would be wise to seek another place." And his claws unsheathed, slowly, slowly.....  
  
The water-youkai spat on the mud. I do NOT choossssse to look elsssewhere! I take sssuch asss I find, asss I will! Little Creature....." she looked disdainfully up at Tora's huge bulk, ".....you are nothing to me, nor isss you litter-mate there....." and she flicked cold eyes towards Ushio, who was breathing a little harder. The hag stopped for a moment, a shade of annoyance passing across her pallid face.  
  
"Sssssssss..... Now that I get a better look at you both, there isss sssomething *familiar* about you each and all. I wonder now, Creature..... Did you *attack* me the other night? I recall sssomething like you whossse meal I nearly ate, back on the river'sss bank; foolisssh as *you* it wasss, to fight me in my element."  
  
"And *you*, Black One. Jussst what isss that thing, there on your back? Ssssss. It ssstinksss of blood and pain for lessssssser youkai than I." She was staring narrowly at the Spear.  
  
The Kemono No Yari's cry was ringing painfully through Ushio's blood; he slipped the Spear down from its temporary sheath and smiled at the river-hag with all of his teeth. "Would you like to see it? I can..... *show* you, if you'd like." His own voice seemed oddly distant in his ears, absurdly calm. As the Spear rested in his grip, he began to feel..... something strange, coming on like the passing of wind through his fur..... something familiar.....   
  
Oh. he hadn't considered what the Change would be like NOW-----  
  
**********and it began, rushing cold as rivers, hot as fire in his flesh/ flesh into blood into bone, roaring through/ a breath of chill lightning crackling from claw to brow/ from sharp tooth to tail-tip/ and the soul within the Spear whispering Change? Change? Already Changed/ already changed/ wait/ wait/ wait.....**********  
  
.......... and Ushio could feel the thunder of power within the Spear hesitating, holding back, holding, biding its time.  
  
(For an appalled second, he thought that it was because of his new state; but no, not that. There was still that same caress of energy that always came with the Change, that moment of maybe-affection, still there; the Spear hadn't forsaken him).  
  
In the meantime..... Ushio dropped the Spear low and held it at an angle, haft against his body and butt braced against the mud. He grinned again at the water-youkai, teeth shining. "C'mere; I'll show you what this is, and what it can *do*....."  
  
She watched the point as it dropped, following it with a baleful glare. "Sss. I think not. That thing----- that isss an *abomination* to sssuch as we. It ssssshinessssssssss-----" her words trailed off into a lizard-like hiss, and Ushio felt the fur along his spine rising, his tail lashing back and forth. Beside him Tora said very softly "..... This one is more dangerous than I had thought..... She will die, but she may die hard....."  
  
"Torrrraaaaaa------" the Spearbearer snarled (he was finding it hard to keep language; a growl seemed to be getting in the way). "----- she owes me, she *killed* me and I'm going to GET herrrrrrrr-----"  
  
The orange bakemono grinned sideways at him, eyes on fire, fur bristling; "RRRrrrrrrrrrrr. Yesssssss..... But Brat----- be bakemono, not human. Remember, Brat! Remember!!"  
  
And he turned back to the water-youkai, who was regarding them both coldly. "You, water-bitch. This is OUR territory. I have spoken to you with my voice; shall I speak with my teeth?"  
  
Her answer was hissing laughter; she crouched low and sprang.  
***************************  
  
Mayuko stumbled back away from her companions as they both roared with one terrible voice and leaped forward like a charge of lions; this was no place for her to be in, she wasn't a fighter! What was she doing here, anyway? Why had she wanted to come with Ushio-kun so badly?!? God, she was so stupid---! She had to get away, get safe----- WHY had she so wanted to come?!?  
  
.....and then she saw the hand of the pathetic little child-body twitch, and she knew: the boy was still alive.  
  
That was why she had to be here.  
  
She tripped backwards over a bush, stumbled, recovered; crouching in the little cover it offered, Mayuko watched horrified as the green, slimy woman sprang past her two friends, claws tearing; God, she was so fast!! Smaller, so much smaller, you wouldn't think she had a chance, but she was mercury-quick and reached back to slash across Tora's shoulder as she passed him; he snarled in pain and snapped with wide jaws, just missing a finger. Ushio-kun spun in his charge, mane wild in a black arc about him----- he threw himself towards her, Spear and claws ready to rend! But the youkai ducked the Spear's thrust, just missing his face with a swipe of living knives. The sound of frustrated rage the Spearbearer made was terrible to hear.  
  
But Mayuko couldn't think about that; she would have to trust that her two friends would take care of themselves. She had to reach the boy..... He was lying a little behind the fearful storm of claws and long limbs, a heap of mud and pale skin; maybe if she crept around to the side..... But she would have to pass behind that gruesome, noxious nest, through the bones and tatters of cloth. Mayuko swallowed and hoped she wouldn't throw up.  
  
She began to circle around, slipping back towards the stench of bone and decayed flesh; a crackle under her feet made her look down--- she stared frozen for a second, then looked deliberately up at the whirlwind of claws and blood before her. Only the greenish tinge to the young woman's set face betrayed the sick feeling washing through her. She could be ill later--- other things were more important just now.  
  
A howl of anger from the black bakemono before her told her that the river-hag had struck home somewhere; Ushio-kun was crouched down low, bleeding from a half-dozen shallow slashes. Tora had drawn back a little and reared up onto his hind legs; he was laughing deep in his throat, every teeth bared and horrifically white. Snarling something in a dialect that she couldn't quite understand, he spread his claws wide, crackling with electrical fire----- it grew wilder, grew brighter, freezing Mayuko in her tracks----- WHAM!!!  
  
Something hard caught her, scooped her up, threw her to land with a crash among the bushes to her right!!! Mayuko's scream of terror came out as a muffled "eeefph!!!" as she landed on her stomach, and she saw that Ushio-kun was crouching between her and the battle as the lightning crackled hotter, crackled higher-----  
  
CRACK-A-BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!! The world was blotted out, ringing and stinking of ozone.....  
  
..... and then it was raining mud and grass and less identifyable things; the water-youkai was nowhere to be seen. Dead?!? *Oh, please...* she prayed; no, there it was, leaping in towards Tora with a shriek, colliding feet-first with his head and knocking him off-balance. God, God it was so fast!!! Ushio-kun was springing away from her, roaring; there was nothing human in the sound!! She saw him gather himself in the air, rise impossibly a little higher, bring the Spear around, screaming-----  
  
----- and Mayuko realized that she was not lying among bushes; she was in the nest of bones. In the larder.  
  
*Out, out, don't think, just get out and move and run towards the boy-----* She was running now, terrible rattling things and crunching things and rolling things underfoot (she would remember the sound long years later, waking trembling and terrified from sleep)..... He was ahead, poor half-dead child, so small and wet, but more than dried bones and rags of cloth, something she could save. Mayuko's heart pounded with her feet: thud, thud, thud, thud, no-time-for-subtlety, thud-thud-thud!! And she was on him, and she scooped him up (such a leggy bundle, long and dangling) to run even faster down the bank!!! Behind her the battle went on, screams and howls and roars mingling in a terrible harmony.....  
******************************  
  
Lightning wrapped Tora, cracking from claw to claw; his eyes blazed with it, it dripped and sparked from every tooth and tipped every strand of fur in a corona of death. The water-hag hissed like a dying fire, talons spread wide, waiting for him.  
  
And Ushio was waiting too. He had seen Mayuko sieze her chance and run, though he hadn't realized that she was trying to get the boy too. Good, though; well and good and gone. This was no place for her..... she was just meat for monsters here. The two bakemonotachi were both bleeding and torn by the youkai-bitch's claws (GodDAMMIT she was fast!!!)--- he was missing a chunk of muscle from his right hind-leg where she had fastened her teeth for a fortunately brief moment. But so far, they had both gotten a few blows in too--- the bitch had a long arc of burn down her ribs on one side, and Ushio had (for one precious moment) managed to fasten his teeth in *her* shoulder. Pity it hadn't been for longer.  
  
He licked his lips; her blood was distinctly fishy, cool rather than cold. Ushio decided that he liked it. "More....." he whispered to himself, laughing softly despite his wounds.  
  
He brought the Spear around. Tora was still crackling with a firework's worth of lightning, keeping their foe back from the river; for the last few minutes of the fight she had been trying to work towards the water, where her advantage would be greater. They had to keep her back, they needed a plan-----  
  
The hell with plans. Ushio wanted her *blood*! He sprang forward again, Spear point stabbing, trying to take her like a fisherman with a gaff-----  
  
But the goddam thing just wouldn't cooperate, would she? There she went, darting like a lizard to the side, down the trail-----  
  
*No---* down the trail towards Mayuko and the boy----- *NO---*  
  
"TORRRRAAAAHHHH!!!" Ushio screamed, leaping after her. No way, no way, she was *not* getting his friend!!! Behind him a little ways he could feel the thunderstorm of Tora in his rage as he flew, crackling through the early evening air-----  
  
And Mayuko was a whitefaced figure just ahead of them, child in her arms; the water-bitch was howling towards them, claws outstretched, but Ushio was close, close, close; he could just grab her foot and with a jerk pull her hard!! towards him into an embrace, close as death----- the Spear fell from his grasp, landing behind him in a tangle of branches-----  
  
----- but she was spinning in his arms, raking him from throat to belly with hooked knives, tearing and rending and ripping---- AAAARRRRRHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!! It hurt, it hurt-----  
  
Blood was running hot between them both as she fought to escape, as he fought to hold her, despite the pain; *Not again, not this time, you won't kill anyone else-----*  
  
******** and then..... there was a moment, just a moment, when it seemed that Ushio could see everything from outside..... How curious it all looked: Tora, racing forward like the lightning incarnate (but he would be too late, too late); Mayuko and the child in a frightened heap; himself and the water-youkai spinning in the air, dancing in a shower of his blood (so much blood), the Spear gleaming behind him, propped point up against a fallen treetrunk, firmly braced-----********  
  
And Ushio knew what he had to do. In that moment of clarity, all the bloodlust, all the burning hate and longing for revenge seemed to drain away and distil down into a single point of resolve and intent: he was there, she was thus, and the Spear, the Spear was right there, yes, like that---- no other way.......  
  
(***Yes, whispered the Spear, dammed-up power beginning to build, to crest like a wave.... yes, now.....***)  
  
.......no other way.......  
  
*----- please.... don't let it hurt as much as before-----*  
  
----- and still clutching his foe in an almost loving embrace, Ushio, Spearbearer and bakemono, threw himself backwards..... onto the Spear. His aim was perfect.  
  
***It went right through them both.***   
  
There wasn't enough breath in Ushio to even allow a scream, but the water-youkai's shriek of agony made up for that.  
  
********COLD-PAIN-COLD-PAIN-COLD********  
  
And darkness. No lightning this time. No, not this time.  
*********************************  
  
..... but there was something else, something shining before him. Aotsuki Ushio floated in the numbing dark, facing the bright thing that called to him, called in a voice of iron bells inside crystal spheres. Behind him was another brightness shining: pain-then-peace, an end to the fighting, rest; before him was pain-then-home, and then more pain.   
  
But..... he understood pain by now, didn't he? It was a part of him, of his life and of Tora's life; and in the darkness it seemed that he could see home, with Mayuko and Asako and his dad and something huge and terrible..... Tora, as bloodied as himself but part of home nonetheless.  
  
Ushio hung there in that brief and endless moment, a mote of air and darkness. And then he chose, and gathered the brightness of pain-then-home to himself. But as his spirit fell into the silver splinter of light that was the Spear he asked it: *Please? Please, just for a little while?!?*----- and there was no more time, and the light wrapped itself around him, claiming him again, chaining his soul once more with crystal and iron and the cutting edge of fate-------  
**********************************  
  
Darkness, laced with a glitter of silver. Wet, too; droplets on his face, in his eyes, cold. He was lying on something soft that shifted beneath him, something warm and damp beneath his naked skin. Something else was lying across him, holding him firmly down, resting against his chest, warm and fragrant and familiar-----  
  
Oh. Stars above, a spatter of mist drifting down. Tora's back, soft mane. Always so soft, but he had never said that to Tora; wouldn't, couldn't. Bakemono. Wouldn't know how to take it, couldn't say it anyway. Wanted to sometimes, though. Familiar scent? Oh yeah, Mayuko, her head resting on his chest, hair in his face, her arms holding him down, grasping Tora's mane.....  
  
As coherant thought slowly returned, Ushio realized that he was lying draped across Tora's back with Mayuko lying across him, her eyes closed. They were soaring through a night sky thick with stars, and the Spear was resting between them.  
  
".....Mayuko?"  
  
"Shhhhh. Just rest. Just..... rest. You're alright now, you're OK. We're all OK......"  
  
"Mayuko?"  
  
"What? Shhhhh. Please, just rest......"  
  
"Why won't you open your eyes?"  
  
She shifted a little. "Because you are *naked*, Ushio-kun."  
  
"Oh. Mayuko.....? Am I..... human again?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh. I thought so....." His head lolled back loosely.  
  
"Ushio? Ushio---? Are you awake? Ushio, have you fainted---? Ushio-kun?"  
  
They flew on. Beneath them, Tora rumbled with contentment, holding the unconscious child and occasionally licking his jaws.  
************************************  
  
Ushio awoke the next time in his bed, feeling stranger than he could ever recall. Well, except for one time maybe..... He lay there for a few moments, feeling oddly newborn; this was the second occasion he could recall waking up when he thought he should be in agony and wasn't. The last time he had thought he was dead. This time, he knew he was alive. Again, he remembered *everything.*  
  
It was morning, he could tell; the birds were singing on the eves, that particular we're-awake-and-we're-loud song that he had heard each day since his birth; he could see by the light slanting across his bed that it couldn't be too long past dawn. Clattering noises and the scent of coffee from the kitchen below told him that someone was making breakfast; who---? Oh; that was Mayuko's voice, singing softly to herself over the sound of the tap running. And out the window he could make out Tora, lying like a lion across the tiles of the old temple's roof, tail a-twitch. And, lastly, there was the Kemono No Yari, leaning in its accustomed place against the headboard of the bed.  
  
Save for Mayuko's voice, all was blessedly, absurdly normal.  
  
Except, of course, for the scars crossing his chest..... white lines, clawmarks spidering from side to side, up and down in a gameboard of whitened tissue; and centering them all like the jewel in the lotus, a single white line, faintly diamond-shaped and exactly as wide as the blade of the Spear.  
  
(.....right through them...... his aim had been perfect.)  
  
Ushio closed his eyes again. Dear God.  
  
And then he opened them and began a rather frenzied self-inspection, making absolutely positively *certain* that he had not one speck of black fur or a single silver talon and not the least sign of a tail. Among other things. And if Tora was watching through the window, or Mayuko, or his entire assembly of classmates, well----- Aotsuki Ushio did not give a damn.  
**************************  
  
When he made his way carefully down the stairs a little later, both Mayuko and Tora were waiting for him. Ushio was wearing his bathrobe; his legs were a little too weak and unsteady as yet to really be up to the chore of dressing. Not important. Silently Mayuko handed him a plate; barely tasting what was before him, Ushio watched his hands (*human fingers--- so small!*) as he ate. Tora was watching him too, equally silent; the bakemono's face held an expression that was very hard to interpret. Silver eyes, sometimes so eloquent in their fury and fierceness, sometimes so very noncommittal..... Ushio sighed and reached for the mug of hot coffee that had been set down beside him; it smelled wonderful even to what he now considered a truly pitiful sense of smell. Expecting his former reaction of dislike, he found himself sipping the hot liquid with appreciation; huh. Maybe some things remained behind, after all.  
  
"Ushio? How--- do you feel now?" Mayuko's blue-grey eyes were fixed on his face.  
  
He stretched carefully. ".... Wierd. Really wierd. Everything seems so..... big. Larger. Back to normal, I guess. Everything but me. I feel human again, outside anyway. Inside? ...... I wasn't very human, there at the end. All I wanted was that bitch's blood." Tora grunted in approval; there was the faintest hint of a smile on the great, grim face as his silver eyes closed half-slitted.  
  
"That was OK, I think..... I did what was... necessary... anyway. But I wonder if the part of me that was bakemono will *ever* go away?" He shifted restlessly, drinking down the rest of his coffee. Mayuko sat back, stirring hers with a spoon. Ushio saw thankfully that she had done a little picking up of the chaos that the kitchen had become over the last few days; all the coffee-grounds had been swept up, the broken crockery thrown out. Nothing much could be done about the holes in the ceiling and wall, though, or the broken hinges, or the cabinet he had pulled half apart while looking for clean dishes..... Oh well. Small things. Dad would just have to understand.  
  
Tora stirred from his usual sprawl across the couch; springs squeaked. "You are what you are; human and bakemono and Spearbearer. And the foreigner is what she is: very, very dead. Tasty...." and he licked his chops, grinning. Ushio found himself remembering the taste of cool, fishy blood; somehow it was *still* very satisfying. Maybe Tora was right; he was..... what he was.  
  
And the Spear was what it was, too. He had carried it down with him; big surprise there. Slowly he brought it up and around from where he had placed it on the floor, standing it upright before him. To Ushio's astonishment Tora did not flinch back from it this time, but sat regarding it with a cool gaze. Mayuko simply watched as he leaned forward, resting his head against the smooth wood. "I..... need to ask the Spear something. Wait......" and he closed his eyes.  
  
*****Like sinking into cool water, like being enveloped in silver, like falling forever without motion: darkness and darkness and darkness, with unseen eyes watching him, always watching him..... always. Soft brush of spirit like a hand across his brow, recognition in the shadows, braille of soul branding him with his name: Aotsuki Ushio Spearbearer. And then the question, springing from his heart, asking, asking, asking, a single voice calling out into the sky: What's going to happen now?.......... and the answer, just this once in words, or in one word: *** respite *** and then, that brush of spirit like gentle wings, a caress of ghosts, warm with approval, tempered with power and time.....*****  
  
Ushio came back to himself, still sitting there on the couch. Tora had moved; he sat beside the door, gazing out into the morning. Mayuko was still sitting beside him, cold coffee in her hands. She sat the cup down and fixed a tired but curious gaze on his face. "..... What did it say?"  
  
He sat back. "Just one word: respite. A break? Time off? I..... guess I don't have to worry about changing permanently now, do I?" Ushio closed his eyes and sighed. Human again; but..... he would miss certain things about being bakemono. The strength, the retractable claws----- flight-----! That, most of all.  
  
"Hhhhhrrrrrrr. I wouldn't be so certain, whelp." Startled, Ushio looked up.  
  
Tora was still sitting there, mane drifting around him in the morning breeze. A scatter of swallows outside the door sent their shadows across his face in gentle punctuation to his words. "What do you mean?"  
  
The bakemono stretched his length across the floor, claws dragging and scraping the wood. "Is not 'respite' a word for a *temporary* pause? Once the Spear has someone, it does not let go. I would not count on a future as anything but the Spearbearer, Brat." In the silence that followed, he slipped ghostlike through the wall out into the yard.  
  
Ushio and Mayuko looked at each other; yes, but...... "Oh, shit." And neither one could say later who had said it. The young woman slumped back and rubbed her eyes. She was wearing one of Ushio's loose t-shirts and sets of drawstring pants, he saw. Quietly he asked "Did the kid make it?" She looked up and smiled wanely. "I don't know; all I could do was ask Tora-chan to let me drop him off in front of the nearest hospital and leave him there; I threw a rock through a window and we flew away. I hope he'll be alright; he was breathing....." she sighed and looked down at her lap. "I wanted to stay with him, but..... Ushio, at first I didn't know what was happening to you; you and that monster went backwards and the Spear went, went r-right through you----" Mayuko paused and took a deep breath. "And then everything went so bright, the Spear was crackling just like Tora--- it was beautiful in a way, like his lightning--- and that youkai was screaming and screaming, and Tora just reached out and pulled you both off the Spear and then yanked her up to his teeth and, and........" she stopped, face white.  
  
Ushio was silent. *So he got to find out if she tasted like fish, anyway* he thought slowly.  
  
Mayuko went on. "..... and then everything went so still, and so quiet--- and you fell down to the ground and you were human. You had all these white scars all over your chest---" (her eyes strayed to where his robe hung a little open) "--- and you seemed OK, though you were breathing so slowly. Tora-----" She glanced towards the door; the orange bakemono was back up on the old temple roof.  
  
"Tora just sat there for a little while, looking down at you with the strangest expression. I guess he was thinking about what had just happened; it's hard to tell sometimes. Then he told me to pick up the Spear and he put you on his back---- and, well, we left." She flushed and looked down again. "I, um, tried not to look at you too much...... You didn't have anything on....."  
  
There was an awkward silence; then a peculiar noise made Mayuko look up. Ushio had his hands over his mouth, trying to hold something back; his face was red and his eyes were wide. He snorted, choked, then broke up into helpless laughter that had more than a little of hysteria in it...... His friend stared, then began to giggle uncontrollably; the two eventually ended up holding each other as laughter died away into chokes and gasps, and perhaps.... a few tears on either side.  
**********************  
Outside, Tora watched from his rooftop. A bird sailed over, catching his attention for a moment; he considered going hunting, but his heart wasn't really in it. Enough hunting lately. With a pair of careful talons he picked a few strands of long black mane from his coat and then sat there for a moment, twisting and rolling them between his fingers. Carefully he wrapped them around themselves in an intricate knot, storing the strands in his private cache behind a little loose tilework. *After all,* thought the bakemono, smiling to himself, *they might be useful..... someday.*  
  
He stepped off into the air, landing gently beside the house. Inside, his two humans were still talking. The Hamburger Girl seemed to be planning on sending a note to the local city guards to tell them about the water-youkai's larder; Tora couldn't see why she should bother, but whatever..... Ushio-Brat looked so much smaller; he had made a good bakemono. A pity; in the depths of his heart of hearts, Tora could admit that he would miss the companionship of another of his kind.  
  
But the other bakemono wasn't really gone, was he? It was as Tora himself had said: when one becomes a monster, that is what one usually stays, sharp claws or not. Over the ages he had known many a human who were monsters at heart, and quite a few bakemonotachi that could have passed in their souls for human. He shrugged; it made little difference. One was what one was, and not all the worry in the world could change that.  
  
Perhaps things would be a little..... easier for him now; the Spearbearer had tasted something that few others before him had. But Tora would still miss the black bakemono.  
  
Eh, well..... There was always tomorrow. And tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.....  
**********************  
  
Ushio sat on the stones beside the shrine gate; morning sunlight flickered like gentle fire down through the branches of the almond trees, patterning skin and clothing with shining warmth. He ran his fingers along the haft of the Spear, unconciously tracing woodgrain with his nails; a touch on his shoulder made him look up.  
  
Mayuko stood there before him, a bag containing her filthy clothes in hand. She would have to sneak in to her home to change (unless she wanted her parents jumping to conclusions that *really* didn't bear thinking about); God only knew what she was going to tell them about the previous day's abscence. Maybe she could get Asako to cover for her. But that would take possibly a little more disclosure than either Mayuko or Ushio wanted to offer....... She sighed, brushing her tawney hair back a little from her face. "Ushio-kun, will you be OK now? If I don't get home soon, my parents will send out the police....."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just going to take a little getting used to, being human again." Not for anything in the world could Ushio tell her that what he was really doing was mourning for what he had lost; no matter how difficult and terrible it had been at first, he had fully accepted what he had become, and now it was gone.  
  
It was a little like mourning the dead.  
  
Mayuko smiled down at her friend; he was pale, he looked a little distraught, but he was Ushio again. She wished that there was some way she could tell him the truth: That, really, there had been nothing in the black bakemono that had not been in her friend Ushio-kun to begin with. At heart, she thought, we are all beasts and all angels; it's the balance that makes us what we are to others.  
  
But she couldn't say that.  
  
As the young woman turned to go, she paused a moment. "---- Oh; I almost forgot to give you this. It's kind of a souvenir, I guess....." she rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a small object: black, black strands wrapped around a bit of stick. It lay in her palm like an omen. Slowly Ushio reached out to pick it up-----  
  
Only to be stopped by a large, striped hand. "I would not, Brat. I would not indeed. Not unless you wish to be back where you were......" Tora had slipped quietly into sight sitting there on the stone wall beside him; his amber talons gripped Ushio's fingers.  
  
The temple boy frowned. "What? Tora, what are you talking about?" The black strands gleamed dully in Mayuko's palm.  
  
Tora dropped his hand and leaned back, a little of his mane drifting around him in the light breeze. "That is part of what you were; touch it, and you will be so again. Take it and keep it, but wrap it in silk and do not lay a finger on it....... unless your humanity becomes too much to bear. Who knows? Perhaps you will find it necessary someday." The bakemono looked over towards the old temple; the doors had never been repaired and the daylight filtered softly in to illuminate an opening in the floor and a staircase leading down..... "It is always good to have an escape, is it not?"  
  
Ushio started to speak, then stopped and swallowed the knot that had formed in the back of his throat. He stared down at the temptation lying in Mayuko's hand: flight, freedom, wildness..... lonliness, fear, sorrow..... He closed her fingers over the strands, careful not to touch. "You keep it, Mayuko. Tell Asako everything." Ushio winced a little at the thought, but--- "She should know about it too. Like Tora says, who knows?" And he turned away to look with the ancient bakemono towards the old shrine. "Abayo, Mayuko-kun..... Domou Arigatou, my very good friend...."  
  
She slipped the small object back into her bag, hesitated, and smiled back. He could hear her footsteps diminish as she walked away down the road.  
  
Swallows twittered and dived around them in the sweet air of morning; Ushio followed their flight with his eyes, resisting the temptation to try and catch one out of the air (it wouldn't work now, after all; his hands were too small----- and besides, no claws). The Spear rested lightly between his palms; maybe it wasn't so terrible a thing after all, what was coming; he had withstood worse, hadn't he?  
  
At least he'd be standing on only two feet this time. No shedding, either.  
  
Tora was watching him sidelong out of half-closed silver eyes, silent, his expression a little mocking. "So..... Ushio-brat. Won't you miss being bakemono, even a little? Large, fearful..... so much better than *this* weak little body....." and he poked his partner in the ribs with a sharp claw; Ushio swore and swatted at him with the Spear, landing a flat blow on the top of the bakemono's head. Tora yelped and cursed.  
  
"Miss it? Yeah, sure; I'm going to miss clawing myself every time I have to scratch, not being able to fit into the bathroom (and NO, I don't want to know how you manage it!), all that kind of shit..... What do you think, stupid?" There was silence for a few minutes or so; two sets of eyes followed the flight of swallows, dark brown and silver. "Well......."  
  
"I might miss a few things. The flying was fun....... and I liked my claws, they were pretty cool......"  
  
Tora snorted. "Not as good as mine, though. Come......." and he grinned. "Spar with me again, Brat, and I'll show you claws!" Eyes and sharp teeth glinted in the sun; for a moment Ushio flashed back to the first moment that he had seen those teeth, those eyes: down in the darkness below the old temple. The bakemono looked no less terrifying now than he had then, but.....   
  
Well, hell, who gave a damn anyway? Lots of things were terrifying. So what?  
  
"Sure. And I'll show you what happens when I put the Spear through your tail......" and, dodging a blow from a handful of claws, Ushio caught up the Kemono No Yari and headed back towards the yard in front of his home, still laughing. Tora followed after, threatening imminent destruction (as usual); his shadow blended with Ushio's like a gray afterthought, stretching behind them both all the way to the open gate.  
  
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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Whew! Finished! Man, that was fun....... Please, y'all--- review; write me! I just finished working through the collected manga tankoubon volumes 1 through 15, and I've got about 17 more to go (Oh eeeeww, you wouldn't BELIEVE how the Kemono No Yari was made! Gruesome in the extreme.....) If I use this material as a background, it'll go way beyond the stuff in the anime; so I'm in a quandry. What do you think? And would you read it? Is my stuff worth reading? If you don't review, I won't know..... Sigh. I sure need to work on my Japanese...... Anyway, thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and I'll write lots more (whether you want me to or not!! Nyahh, nyahhh!!!). Abayo! ------- Ysabet (ysamingo@aol.com or sbarnesdpr@hotmail.com) ..... That was So Much FUN.......... =^_^= 


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